I can't get over him!

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by UnseenVarg, Jan 22, 2012.

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  1. UnseenVarg

    UnseenVarg Member

    Argh!

    Gods dammit all. It's pretty much one year now since the guy I fell in love with broke my heart and decided I didn't exist anymore.
    He was everything to me. I don't know if you'd call it love, but I was very attached to him (let's call it a type of love). He supported me through years of depression, being the only person who could actually cheer me up. He was literally the only person I had regular contact with for years. Depression caused me to shut out everyone else. We'd play games together, talk about everything and anything. Hell, he helped me figure out I was bleedin' gay!

    Then he disappeared. Forever. Just one morning, he started ignoring me completely and fully. Didn't say goodbye, hello, or say why. He just decided not to answer me anymore, whatever the situation. Refused to talk it over. Refused to anything. Even after I'd attempted suicide (failed, obviously) and ended up in a hospital.

    And it's been one year and I STILL CAN'T GET OVER HIM! I'm plagued by him in my dreams. I wake up sweating and crying because everything's fine between us in the dream and then I realize it's not real and it hurts like flippin' heck!

    I can't do things now because I'm afraid I'll run into him. I can't join groups, I can't play the online games I did with him because we were in the same guild and I'll run into him and fall back into my ultra-depressed maniacal stalker-mode psychotic nervous mental breakdown wreck! We had pretty much exactly the same interests so no matter where I go I'm terrified I'll run into him! And I can't handle running into him! I'll breakdown totally and a year of recovery will go to heck!


    Help me, forumites! How on Earth do I get over something like this?
     
  2. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    You are doing the right thing by keeping out of his way, one day soon you'll be strong enough to face him, or maybe you'll just bump into him accidentally and wonder what the fuss was all about....good luck.
     
  3. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Write a letter to yourself about why you should not get back with him, or simply list things about him that you don't like. Think about specific situations in which he upset you and write them down. Then read it back to yourself and see if you still feel the same way. Chances are, it'll make you feel at least a tiny bit better. I noticed you didn't call it "love" in your post, you're identifying it more closely with attachment, so maybe you could start with that. It took me about a year to get over one of my ex's. It happens sometimes.
     
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    It's really hard to forget about someone you were once attached to. I still find it difficult to let go of people I haven't even talked to for years or decades. They say time is a healer, but it doesn't always work out that easily. Just keep in mind that you were pretty much abandoned by this person, and he didn't even care when you tried to kill yourself, so he really isn't worth your time anyway. That's what I do when I think about people who hurt me, I remember why they aren't in my life anymore and what they did to me so it's easier to let go of the feelings.
     
  5. UnseenVarg

    UnseenVarg Member

    Thanks for the help and advice. :)

    Angels, I'll try your list method once I feel strong enough to face it. :)
     
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