I cant get past this feeling

[mb26]

ever since i was 12 i have been thinking of ending it all. Now that im 27 nothing has changed i have had happy moments of coarse but it always comes back. Even when im very happy i never really truly feel better.
Recently I have gotten married and everything was going fine, but in the last few weeks my wife has been acting like i have been unfaithful to her and very insecure with many things. i have tried to tell her she is making me feel like i am not a trust worthy man. i havent done anything wrong ever ! She has been grilling me right down to the 20 dollars extra i took out of the bank. And with all of this going on these feelings of me killing myself are getting stronger and stronger. I kno i would hurt a lot of people but it just feels like it doesnt matter to me as much as it did when i was younger. Sometimes i think it would just be easier to end this life and start the next, whatever it is. Nomatter how good it is, its never good enough to make me feel better.I have tried antidepressents before...didnt work SLIT MY WRIST WITH A KNIFE RIGHT DOWN MY ARM when i was 18 now i am stuck with a constant reminder of just how easy it is....what can i do FML

 

[Petal]

Hi mb,

Welcome to SF.

Have you told your wife that her insecurities are affecting you? Does she know you're suffering like this? If she doesn't, you should tell her, her behaviour might change towards you and you could both work it out.

Just because anti-depressants didnt work before, doesn't mean they won't work now. There's many different types, see your doctor about it again :hug:

 

[total eclipse]

Perhaps marriage councilling would help bring everything out on the table with a professional to help guide both of you to a better marriage. Open conversation is needed for a relationship to work take care