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i can't go on anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mbrace, Dec 29, 2011.

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  1. mbrace

    mbrace Member

    i've lost my job recently and now my year and half relationship has ended. We split the other week but got back together yet yesterday it all kicked off again she says she loves me but says we can't b together, we argued and when i got in the car she shouted out the window i hope u crash! So i'm going to do what she wants i've booked into a hotel and i've got several packs of pills that i'm going to work my way through and hopefully i won't wake
  2. IntoTheWoods

    IntoTheWoods Guest

    I am sorry you lost your job and that your relationship has ended, I get how it must feel pretty bad right now. We can all say things in the heat of the moment that we don't really mean - gosh I know I have in the past - but I am sure this is not what she wants for you.

    I've read that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and that keeps me going when I am feeling at rock bottom - however crap it may feel right now, the intensity of those feelings will pass.

    I hope you post again to let us know how you are doing - you do matter - take care.
  3. mbrace

    mbrace Member

    i just can't picture life without i got with her when she was pregnant and have raised her daughter as my own and can't face her calling somebody else daddy
  4. IntoTheWoods

    IntoTheWoods Guest

    I know that is such a tough and painful thing to face - I have kids and am divorced from their dad, he has them for some of the week and I hate it - my eldest hopes Daddy will get married again so he can have a sister and a step mum, it is like being stabbed when he talks about it.

    These things can hurt so much, for me sometimes it is like a physical pain of being stabbed and for a while it knocks me sideways and I wonder how I will ever make it through - but somehow I do, I pick myself up again. I have learned that however badly it is hurting those thoughts and feelings do pass in time.

    When I am feeling really low, I know to avoid alcohol, to come on a site like this and to try and keep connected with people and as I have just posted elsewhere, I got myself a puppy who does help with the really hard times.

    I also picture my kids faces at a grave side and I can't do that to them.

    Thinking of you.
  5. mbrace

    mbrace Member

    its horrible i don't drink so i wouldn't hit the bottle thats another thing she hates about me that i don't drink and she does i saw what i can do to u through my mum so i chose not to drink. Her own family have told me i need to leave her because she treats me like dirt and i wish i could but i'm afraid i'l never have anyone again. I don't have any family to turn to and see this as my only option shes chucked me out our flat that i pay for as well
  6. IntoTheWoods

    IntoTheWoods Guest

    Although it may seem like the only option, it never is - right now there is also the option of just waiting - maybe taking an hour at a time if that is as far ahead as you can see.

    I don't think right now is the time to be looking too far ahead and thinking of all sorts of fears of being alone -none of us know what the future holds for any of us and when we are feeling in pain our minds can play all sorts of tricks on us and imagine all sorts and generally these will be worse case scenarios.

    I was also told once that when we are feeling in crisis is the absolutely worse time to be making such massive decision about life and death, as we are rarely thinking straight and could be making a huge mistake. And I think that is good advice, what if....we just don't know for sure do we?

    Hang on in there tonight mbrace and keep safe - hugs to you.
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