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I can't go on like this

#1
I'm at breaking point. I've been at breaking point for too long. I can't do this. I feel I'm the verge of collapse. Sleep doesn't help. Rest doesn't help. Exercise really doesn't help. Eating junk food doesn't help. Eating healthy doesn't help. Nothing helps. Nothing dampens this feeling that is tearing me apart. I can't do this anymore. I can't be the person that I'm "supposed" to be. I'm not strong anymore. I've been broken down by the chronic fatigue. I don't want to fight for me anymore. I don't want to keep my head above the water anymore. I just want to surrender and sink into the darkness, and let it take me.
 
#5
I've been crying for an hour. My eyes are all swollen. I don't want to be this crazy burden that I am. I just want to release from this world, and stop being the horrible negative destructive monster that I am. I'm hurting so much. It feels like a hurricane inside. I have so much sorrow, so much loss. But mostly, the guilt, and shame, and self loathing. I want to make it all stop. I'm so tired of trying to hold it together. I can't hold it together anymore. I just can't.
 
#7
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment @VioletDawn, and you're struggling with the pandemic. What is with the pandemic that upsets you specifically? Is it the having to socially isolate or is it the stress of catching the virus?

You're not a burden and you're not a monster. People would miss you very much if you died. Stay safe. Sending hugs *brohug.
 
#8
I'm so scared of getting sick again. My life has been wrecked by long covid. Still not recovered after 10 months. GPs don't want to know, no mental health help either. I'm past breaking point. There's no relief. I have complex ptsd which only makes everything worse. I am so isolated. I tried to make the best of things but my mind is shattered. The darkness is closing in. All I can see is the darkness.
 
#9
I am so sorry to read this violetdawn. I think most of us on here can understand those types of feelings, the isolation , the loneliness, the fear, and I hope that you can use this forum, every day if you need to, just to help get through this, one day at a time x that’s my strategy just now one hour or one day at a time x sending you lots of hugs and strength 🥰🥰 x
 
#10
Thank you for the kind replies. I'm sorry I can't answer better. My head feels so jumbled. Today has been really bad. I've been in bed the whole evening. Trying to hide from everything, but I can't hide from myself. I want so much to be a better person but I keep getting in my own way. I don't know how to stop being me, or how to replace the me I am, with the me I want to be.

I'm so tired of being wrong, but I don't know how to be right.
 
#12
I'm sorry to hear you've had to go through that VioletDawn. It sounds incredibly tough. I know it may not feel like it know, but I want you to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Things can get better for you. Things will change with the current situation of the pandemic, and things can start getting back to normal. In the meantime, we're here to listen. Sending hugs *brohug.
 

So so tired

Well-Known Member
#13
Thank you for the kind replies. I'm sorry I can't answer better. My head feels so jumbled. Today has been really bad. I've been in bed the whole evening. Trying to hide from everything, but I can't hide from myself. I want so much to be a better person but I keep getting in my own way. I don't know how to stop being me, or how to replace the me I am, with the me I want to be.

I'm so tired of being wrong, but I don't know how to be right.
Hi violet.
I really feel your total tiredness in trying to fight 24 /7.
Alot of your comments are very relatable and i know that you have been suffering for so long now.
I wish that i could offer you some magic words but unfortunately i cant.
I can send u virtual hugs and a hope that even a tiny particle of hope becomes available ,it will be yours ! Xx
 

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