i cant go on

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by frantic, Jul 30, 2013.

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  1. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    my head hurs. and its empty. just buzzing. breating is hard. heavy chest. heavy everythign. nothing left. nothign left inside me. just paoin and emptiness.
    i want to sleep and sleep and sleeep. i want the nightmares to end. i want the pain to end. i want this crap called life to end. just sleep. darkness. peace. nothing.

    done
     
  2. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    is there help

    am i beyond help

    is there anytig that anyon e could do

    is there anyhting that would make a difference

    dont think so
     
  3. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    Have you tried a talking to a therapist? Im not sure about your eating habit but eating healthy and drinking lots of water would help with energy to start to try and change things. Do you have any hobbies that you are passionate about or used to be?
     
  4. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    yes, i have a thearpist. haven't told her how bad things are though. i just stared seeing her not to olong ago. nad right now i'm sure i want to continue. it's not helpling. if i tell her how i'm feeling now she'll just hvae me locked up. the hospitals here are crap. all of them. ive been to the hospital many many many times (over 20), and its always the smae thing. same questions, same papers, always the same. and itnever does any good. i now by now what to say and write on the papers to get discharged, it's pointless. being locked up is pointless. and we really don't need another bill we cant pay. we already owe every hospital here and around the next bigger city money for hospitalzations. its pointless.
    i used to have htings i enjoy doing, but cnat do them because of health issues. i'm stuck in the house most of the time. cant do much of anything.
    i cant reallyeat healthy because we don't have money for healthy foods. no fruits, no veggies. just whatever is cheap, which of couse is not healthy.

    my head still hurst. i feel like i'm in a fog. like im not really thre. more dead than alive. might as well finish it.
     
  5. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    Please just try and keep holding on. I wouldnt want to go to a hospital either, probably doesnt do much long term. Maybe just writing a journal to yourself will help that way you dont have to hold back like with the therapist. Im sorry you cant do what you used to enjoy doing because of health, I am in a similar situation and it does suck. Maybe try to find a new thing to get into? I am going to start drawing and hopefully learning to play my grandpas old guitar for example. Maybe you will be surprised finding something new that you like. I found out earlier this year I kind of like reading although I havent done it in a while but I never expected to like it. If you cant afford healthy foods right now I would at least be sure to drink a lot of plain water, I find that helps my mood a bit. Hopefully you can find some enjoyment in some things and you never know maybe it will help with the energy and start to change things. humans do need a little passion in their life.
     
  6. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    i'm horrible at drawing and painting. i can't sing. i love reading but cant focus on anything anymore. cant focus on movies either. i'm feeling so weak. to oweak to do anyting. can barely kepe my eyes open.i'm sjust so tired. and that buzzing in my head.....
     
  7. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    Im not good at drawing either but its good to put on music and get my mind off things. I know how hard it is to try and change but we must keep trying. Ive been lying in bed all day for months as well. Small steps though, one day at a time :). You can do this
     
  8. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    i dont think nthere is anything that bcan be done about me anymore. ive been trying for almost 15 yreas now. i'm tired. its not getting better, my past will never leave me alone. it will always be there. my "family" ruined my life.i will never forget the abuse. and everything that goes with it. its too much. tis smothering me. i cant breathe. tired. so tired. buried under all the crap that is my life. nad has been lmy life.
    nobody can take that off of me.i cant escape it. there is no escape, no way out but one.

    cant think of anything else anymoe. cant get it out of my ehad.
     
  9. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    I dont know what happened, but perhaps forgiveness will allow you to move on, even if what they did to you was wrong.
     
  10. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    thereis no forgiveness for what ehy did. i wont let them off that easy. i cant just forgive and forget, while i live with the consequences of their actions every freaking day of my life. no repercussions for them, im' the fucked up one. i will never forgive. or forget.
    there was never and apology fromt hem, not even acknowledgement. to them, it never happendd.
     
  11. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    Maybe they dont deserve to be forgiven, but from what I have read people forgive even if they dont deserve it not for the others sake, but for your own sake so you can move on. Im sorry for the troubles they have caused you and I do not know all of the answers but I hope I could have helped even a tiny bit.
     
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