i cant go on

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by willgethere, Mar 31, 2008.

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  1. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    I am so fed up of fighting, people say you have to, why??? people say meds will help, after about 7 changes and years of trying when will they help? I am just not worth it,

    i need out now, but i tried once before and still here, i cant even do that right, i hate life, i hate me.

    I am hoping my plans this time work. i really cannot do it any longer
  2. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    The reason you have to fight is because you have to make yourself see that you are worth more than this - you are better than suicide. Nobody deserves to feel like death is the only option and I assure you that this will pass. I know it feels like it's been going on forever, I know your tired, I know your fed up but you just never know when things will turn around. Fall down 7 times stand up 8. The more you push forward, the stronger you become when you get to the top of the hill - I hope you can hold on long enough to see that day! :smile:
  3. Placebo

    Placebo Well-Known Member

    Meds are crap. I refuse to take them because I'm a firm believer in more natural, less invasive methods of behavior adjustment (i.e. therapy, lifestyle changes, meditation, etc).

    As for your suicidal state of mind, I suggest you make a list of both the pros & cons of your life. Take a good look at it, and ask yourself how things could be worse. If you can come up with just ONE way in which it could be worse, that is reason enough to keep fighting.
  4. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    Thank you for replying
    I have really really tried,
    i am a total menace to society by living, i wish he would go to bed, i cant i havent strength to fight, i am losing it, believe me i would fight if i could, but i am being selfish now i know, but i cannot help it.

    i hurt in every aspect, i feel sick just thinking about things, i am dead inside already so what is the point
  5. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Like I said, the point is to prove to yourself that you are better than this. You don't deserve to feel this way and I'm not sure who is trying to fight you but they don't deserve to have that power over you.
  6. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I understand you being tired, but don't give up. As already said medication isn't the only treatment out there for depression. Perhaps have a chat to your dr and tell them they ain't working and see what your doctor suggests. It can be a long struggle, you are still fighting... there's a quote somewhere that says something along the lines of we can go on for a long time after we think we can't go on anymore. You can carry on fighting, even through at this very moment, you feel that you can't. We have more strength inside us than we can imagine. :hug:
  7. Placebo

    Placebo Well-Known Member

    No, you're not selfish. There is nothing wrong with you wanting some relief. But, killing yourself isn't the way. Oh, and you're not a menace to society. LOL Dangerous people don't come to places like this and talk about hurting themselves. A suicidal person is only a risk to themselves, usually.

    Anyhow, if you're beating yourself up over a mental condition, that is pointless. What have you been diagnosed as, btw? I hope you know that, for the most part, psychiatry is a scam.
  8. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    Im not 100% sure if I have been diagnosed, one psychologist said I have PSTD but nothing offical, I have spoken to the dr but he has never said anything as to what it is.

    I am crying inside, i hurt so much being here, he never stays up so late, i really need him to go to bed,

    my head feels so mushed up with a million and one things, images, thoughts, smells, sounds,
  9. Placebo

    Placebo Well-Known Member

    Who is "he"?
  10. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    i'm sorry i arent too good at explining things, 'he' is my hubby - we have drifted away and are just like 2 people living together now, i pushed him away

    i just cant have hiom around and he just doesnt seem to want to go to bed :(

    he knows nothing, other than i am feeling a little low, so he leaves me to get on witg things
  11. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    I have a hard time sleeping too. Inherited insomnia from my mother -_-

    my wife hates that about me lol. That's another one of the reasons I started drinking, to try to make that less depressing. Tried meds to help me sleep but they mostly just made me feel drugged and I was still awake. One thing that always knocks me out is just getting drunk off my ass. Flawed remedy, I know. Sigh, now it's become the opposite of a remedy.

    Like right now I can't sleep because I'm having images and cold sweats, so I just gave up after laying in bed for an hour. Wonder if your hubby has insomina too.
  12. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    nah hubby can sleep for england,

    well as you can see it didnt happen, i cant go on like this, i am running scared all then time

    Thank you for your kind word last night
  13. nicesinging1

    nicesinging1 Well-Known Member

    Hi, Willgethere. I think you need to create a plan/vision on what you want out of ur life down the road. What do I envision myself doing in 5 years? What kind of lifestyle do I want? What are some of the things in life that bring joy to my life and how can I be happy more often? How can I devise a plan to keep making steady progress on my life in general?
    There is always a way out no matter how bad things are. Believe in yourself.

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