i can't handle this pain

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by northstar, Dec 31, 2011.

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  1. northstar

    northstar Active Member

    This is too hard.. I am too alone and hurting way too much.. it's too much. I'm going to be homeless in a few weeks, my boyfriend left me, NO ONE wants to be with me this new year's eve, even though they know I've had suicidal thoughts before..
    WHY DOESN'T ANYONE CARE?!
    people say they care but it's the ACTION that shows, if you aren't here and you aren't talking to me then what good is your "I care about you?!"
    it's no good and I don't know how to make it through the rest of the day and night alone. I don't know how to do this without numbing myself emotionally and I'm tired of doing that! in an out of emotions! all the time!!!! I can't do that anymore!!!

    ---------- Post added at 02:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:24 PM ----------

    I'm so terrified of what happens after death and that's the only thing keeping me from doing it at this point
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    We care northstar.
    What would you like to talk about?
     
  3. northstar

    northstar Active Member

    thank you
    my bf leaving me alone, he abused me so much and doesn't care about me, i still love him,
    i'm dirt poor and have 1 month before i don't have a home anymore and there are no friends or family who can let me live with them, i asked
    i don't do drugs, i'm not a bad person, i don't know why i deserve this life, i don't
     
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Your bf is no loss northstar; if he abused you you are better single. I know that you have feelings for him, when you miss him in your thoughts, try to remember how bad you felt when he abused you, and how good it is that you are now free of that feeling of fear.
    Can you get help with a place to live? Are there shelters where you are?

    I am so sorry life has treated you harshly. But tonight is a time of renewal.
    Where do you live now?
     
  5. northstar

    northstar Active Member

    can i message you the details for privacy sake
     
  6. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Yes, no problem.
     
  7. northstar

    northstar Active Member

    thanks for letting me write
    :( can't take this
     
  8. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Keep posting, try the chatroom maybe.
    We can help you take it.
     
  9. northstar

    northstar Active Member

    Thank you, I'm in the chatroom,
    I'm sorry it's taking me a long time to answer your message, the one with questions, I am trying
    the more I think about it the harder this gets
    I'm struggling and feel like my time is running out. I have 5.5 hours til midnight. I feel like at that time I will be in too much pain
     
  10. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I will reply in PM.
     
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