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I Cant Help It!!!

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Well-Known Member
i cant help but be a bully it helps me feel like i have some control!!! ok heres the deal i just got out of foster care my mom ran away and im living with my dad who i was always told was a no good scum bag and my sister who i hate with a burning passion!! i have no clue what im doing half the time and somtings i just lose controll i know what im doing is wrong i just cant help it!
I understand what you're saying, don't feel bad.. it's displacement and projection, common defense mechanisms that occur under periods of stress. There are other ways of dealing with this stress, though you are used to bullying because you've learned it from the environment you grew up in. It is possible for you to change, it won't be easy; I grew up with many people who were addicted to this behavior, it's especially hard because others react negatively to it (which is the last thing you need) and it only fuels the cycle and causes you to continue. What you need is love and support from others, and positive outlets for your anger. You've acknowledged that what you're doing is wrong, that's moving in the right direction. Feel free to discuss the situation further either by posting here or through PM. What makes you angry? When did the bullying begin, and tell me how you feel when you're in control over others. Have others treated you this way or controlled you as well?


Well-Known Member
Everything makes me angery even just the littlest things.
the bulling began when my sister was born i was 5 then and 14 now.
i feel like i have pwer and that someone is listining to me and respects me for a change...i feel like i have no controll though even when i can look at someone and have them do whatever i tell them...
You might feel like you have their respect, but since I was a bullying-victim for over four years, I can tell you that you don't. You have their fear, perhaps also their hatred, and you indeed have control, but never respect.

Although I NEVER approve of bullying (I know what it can lead to), I can see where you're coming from though. I can understand your reason to feel the need to do so.
But please, try to take those emotions, this anger out on something else. Painting might help, or any other kind of creativity. To me personally, it always helps to write. Write down what I feel and why, but also other things. Stories, poems, whatsoever.
Please don't take those feelings out on people. Write a story and horribly abuse your main character or something, that's all ok. It might even become a bestseller (ok wishful thinking, but you get the point). And in your stories, you are always the one with all the power and control.
And a (mentally/physically/both) scarred fictional person is ALWAYS a 1000000 times better than a scarred real person.
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