i cant hold on for much longer

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Disillusionment, Apr 1, 2013.

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  1. Im tipping over the edge i suppose i should say goodbye im desperate i havent slept a wink and the <edit mod total eclipse method> is ready beside me... this is my last cry for help and i dont have many more days left in me... i need to talk to someone
    my parents hate each other and its all my fault and i cant stop it now except by going away... and i can think of no more final a goodbye...
    please give me a reason to live cos right now i cant see one

    i can really see no other way i am such a burden on everyone i know

    not to mention my terrible typing... thank u spell check
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 2, 2013
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Here if you want to talk. :hug: Why do you think it's your fault that your parents are having problems?
  3. Its my fault because i am the reason they are arguing... i am the problem in their lives and i am what they argue about, they cant agree what to do with me im just that fucked up apparently...
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    I think they may be using you as an excuse to be angry with each other. That's very tough and unfair on you. Is there anyone else in your family, at school , college or an adult outside the family you can talk to? What sort of problems have you been having?
  5. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    I am soo sorry you are feeling this way, please speak to your mental health team or gp urgently about getting help or go to the nearest hospital and get assistance you need it. Don't do something you will later regret.
  6. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Hey I hope you're okay things are always worse without sleep. How you feeling, hope you're talking to someone?

    Take care

  7. well i've been diagnosed with depression... and my parents are blaming each other for it.
    so here i am this kid with no reason to be unhappy, and yet i have fucking depression (i dont even know why) and then my parents blame each other... they had everything and then i ruined it by being one genetic fuck up
    its all my fault, if i hadnt been so self pitying in the first place... none of this would be going on

    ironic huh

    this might be sick but my line of though is that i cant regret something if im not there to regret it...
  8. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Seems they are blaming each other, as they do not understand. I doubt ending your life will make things better either, have you tried sitting down with them going through what depression is and what they need to do to support you? You are not a fuck up believe me okay, so please be gentle on yourself.
  9. Stisme

    Stisme Active Member

    Perhaps you could speak to a teacher at school that you might trust. I might be nothing but a stranger to you at this moment but I want you to know that I care about you. It's important to let "somebody" know that you are in such pain. My thoughts are with you.
  10. thank you so much guys, its nice to have some people actually care about me :cupcake:
    i think my problem is that i keep my feelings to myself... this thread is the first time i've said whats wrong, to anybody
  11. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    The more you open up how you feeling the more people can help you.
  12. yeah, i've made my mind up to tell my parents whats wrong, but im not sure i will have the confidence, cos im scared they will just start blaming each other all over again
  13. Stisme

    Stisme Active Member

    I know exactly how you feel at this very moment. The fear of possible rejection or critical judgement at the very mention of talking to somebody almost crippled me. Like you, this was the first place that, in 6 years, I spoke to anyone about my problem. It felt good to type the words and even better to hear back that people cared and even understood. Just four days ago I joined LS and it has literally saved my life. I am slowly, very slowly beginning the climb out of this dark hole. Keep coming back and talking Disillusionment and after you have done that, keep coming back some more. You need to reach out to someone...your too important a person to let this go any longer. I look forward to hearing from you.
  14. Im just so happy i actually had the sense to find somewhere like this... i had to work up the confidence for a long time but i figured i had nothing to lose, in fact i had everything to gain.
    i havent told my parents yet about how theyre making me feel, cos im kinda scared of how they will react, but ive been convinced to do it. Ill tell you how it goes when i do tell them :)
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