I can't keep on living this life :(

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Keepsmiling, May 10, 2012.

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  1. Keepsmiling

    Keepsmiling Member

    I'm bulimic anorexic and I can't stop, it hurts so bad :( I really hate it, my family resent me because of it. I've been in treatment twice and tried so hard but it hasn't helped, so I'm thinking I either let this kill me or get it over with and kill myself. I have been harming myself all morning to stop myself from doing it and I am getting really anxious now because im not sure how long I can carry on. But then I keep thinking I can't end my life because it means ending the pain, and I deserve the pain. I'm so confused :'( I don't know what to do.
  2. Ajean

    Ajean Well-Known Member

    Try to hold on. Cheesy as it sounds, take some deep breaths. Big deep long breaths. I know its difficult. And painful. And that the harder you fight the harder it seems. But you have to trust that you can survive this, deep down inside.

    Get a glass of water. Find some music that makes you happy. Hell, watch videos of cats doing stupid things. Keep yourself occupied. Eat tiny little 'healthy' snacks whenever you think you can fight the urge.

    It's going to be a struggle. But you can do this.
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Hi Keepsmiling!
    I'm very sorry to hear of your story. Probably the best friend I ever had struggled with severe anorexia since her teenage years (I knew her in her 20's); & I cannot tell you the ordeal it was--but I know you already know, unfortunately... What helped her most, was weekly therapy, which took some time to find the right psychologist, but once she did, worked wonders. Also, she entered a pretty significant treatment facility (nationally renowned). But it's tough--I know how so many of these individuals suffering with eating disorders wind up: for the very reasons you already cited. All I can say is, do what ever you can to find help. Don't listen to those who oppose your health. If family and friends are part of the problem, instead of the solution, forget them for how, and just focus on you. Because until you do, no-thing will change (or it will be ten times harder). I wish you the best of success moving ahead. Good Luck!
    --Mr. B!
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