i cant keep on with this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by vbuk, Mar 30, 2008.

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  1. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    it feels over. i cant deal with it anymore. i know how people think and feel about me. im a nothing. a big fat stupid nothing with no hope. i HATE life. i hate how everything is ment to be. how im supposed to be. im sick of people that think they know me. they dont. nobody knows me. i dont even know me. i spent the night laid in bed alone, scared, wishing i would never wake up again. i juts got back from a rugby match. 7thousand people there. but i was alone. stood in the middle with a great void around me. i need someone to slap me. get me out of this and if it doesnt then at least it will hurt. im not on this planet anymore. not in the same world as everyone else.

    i cant even cry. there is nothing there. no emotion. just blank! my rugby team drew today. i walked out bewildered. totally dazed and confused.

    i keep wishing for the end. i wish it would come quick. i long for some comfort. some security. but im out there on the battlefield with no protection and no way of defending myself.

    as i write this im sitting in a daze.

    i want an end to this life, now
     
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    :hug:

    Keep hanging on hun - your good mood will come back :)

    And remember that Cheesecakes loves ya :) :hug:
     
  3. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    maybe i dont want it back, im tired joe. tired of fighting. i cant keep it up anymore. im a nothing and im starting to learn my place
     
  4. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Deep down hun, I think you do want it back. Your current mood isn't allowing you to see that though :hug:

    You can get through this time, lean on us all :)
    You're much more than a nothing, you're a somebody, and a great somebody at that.
    Your place is not where you are now :hug:
     
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    You're not nothing. You are something to a lot of people here. You have been strength and hope to many!!! Now you need to let us be your strength and your hope. Let the words, caring and love of others help you through this hun!!. Atleast until you feel a little better about being in this little corner of the universe in SF. Please try to find the strength to hold on while we carry the load for a little while.
     
  6. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    im sorry, cant do it, cant see it and cant live it
     
  7. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    i agree with joe clare :hug: you are somebody and a wonderful person hun.
    we are all here for you clare, take are hand and we will help you :hug:
     
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun, you dont need to see it. We see it and we can show you. Let us. Please, call a crisis unti right now!

    clare please trust me when i sday i know how you r feeling. but you re better than your demons. you are one of the strong ones here. please do for yourselve what even i cant do for me. please call a crisis unit or line.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 30, 2008
  9. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    Its getting worse. I just woke up and im crying cos i didnt want to. Its all hurting too bad. Dont want to keep my eyes open cos it means im still here
     
  10. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    Clare, hang on! You are wonderful person, and now you have cute bunny. :hug:
     
  11. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    i for one believe in you and love you just the way you are.
    please be strong and keep the fight up. im sorry you are having a bad time right now and wish the best for you. you know im always here for you no matter what.
    love you
     
  12. The Loner

    The Loner Active Member

    You seem a decent person and everyone here likes and cares about you so please try to hang on.
     
  13. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Clare
    Like your quote says have faith hun you can beat this. Just lean on friends and loved ones to help you through. :hug:

    I can't say I know you as a person because we don't talk at all, but what I can say is that you seem like a sweet and considerate person. I hope you keep fighting the fight.
     
  14. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    I got to go to work. Im scared to and dont know why. They better keep out of my way. I dont want to go but have to. Got too much to do and im scared it will be done wrong if i dont sort it. Thats generally what happens. I just want to cry but if i let it out it wont stop. I dont know how to stop this pain.
     
  15. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    Clare hun :hug: you r a wonderful person. Lean on us, we r here to help you to get thru this crisis. If you cant hold on please call a crisis unit or go to the ER.
    Love, Beret xxx
     
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