I can't keep up this front!

[jenn]

For the past 6 months people keep commenting on how well i'm doing and how well i'm looking but they don't understand that that couldn't be further from the truth! I sit everynight crying myself to sleep praying i won't wake up in the morning and if the crying donsn't send me off then i fantasise about diferent ways to end it all. I can't keep going on like this it's a gorgeous day outside and i cant go out because i look like such a tramp and unless i wanna go out with my family again.. i've got no friends to go out with! No job, no friends and a past thats so screwed up that leaves me crawling the walls, its been nearly a year since I last tried but whats the point of trying to soo hard to survive when nothing changes and lifes still sht. Think I've babbled on enough just had to get it all out sorry

 

[GA_lost]

I went through that for a long time myself. The only way you can get the help you deserve is to let your family know how much you hurt. They would be much more hurt if you you attempt or succeed in suicide. Good Luck Hon

 

[total eclipse]

HI i wish you reach out to your family let them know how you are suffering so. If not them your doctor as something can be done newer meds different treatment don't clam up okay tell them all of them how you are hurting so help can change where you are. stop wearing the dam mask of happiness and be true to your feelings and get the help you need to change things You don't have to suffer okay there is help out there Don't fight it alone

 

[shazwackers]

It's soul-destroying when people say you look so well and are doing well, when inside you are dying..................most of us have been there, and come out the other side..............it's not easy though and takes time.........

Please do what has been suggested............either talk to your family or more probably your doctor..........but you really must be totally honest and kill the 'happy face'...........be openminded to what he suggests.......taking meds is better than feeling the way you do all the time, then you can stand back and think about what you want to do with your life............big hug.........shaz