I can't leave my sister like this.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WastedPotential, Feb 26, 2009.

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  1. WastedPotential

    WastedPotential Well-Known Member

    Both of our parents are gone. We are all we have left.

    I don't want to live this life, but it would hurt her so much.

    She has no idea how much pain I am in, no one does, I hide it well. (I think.)

    I am just so tired, I just don't want to do this anymore. I don't want anything, I don't care about anything except how this will hurt her.

    I am stuck here, but all I want to do is jump off.
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It's good that you want to stick around for your sister, but I really hear how bad you feel.

    Instead of keeping it all locked inside, could you maybe communicate to people? Maybe look for some professional support to help you deal with the things that cause you to feel so awful?
  3. WastedPotential

    WastedPotential Well-Known Member

    Professionals cost money. Right now I am dragging my feet to go down to the leasing office of my apartment complex and work out a deal with my landlord to pay my rent late this month.

    I am thinking that sounds like too much trouble. So, I sit here debating whether or not it is even worth taking a shower today.

    I am supposed to go to work this evening and I have no idea how I will get through my shift.

    I just dont care. I just don't care.
  4. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    When I feel like that, I just push my body to go thru the motions. That is all you can do for right now. Just make yourself take a shower. Get ready for work, relax a little and go to work. I find that work helps me.

    I am jealous of you though. I dont get along with my sister, at all.
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I don't know where you live, I'm guessing not the UK, but there maybe be other options, like support groups, that don't cost money, but can help you be heard, and can help you to cope with whatever is going on.

    It's very hard when you feel so unmotivated, so just try and do the very necessary things for now, and in time add more things in as you feel able.
  6. WastedPotential

    WastedPotential Well-Known Member

    I've been doing that for so long already. I don't feel able to add more things in. I want to take more out.
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