I can't live anymore..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by black_swan224, Feb 25, 2013.

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  1. black_swan224

    black_swan224 New Member

    I couldn't really put into words how I feel everyday of my life. It's just unimaginable, unbearable pain. I've been strong for everyone for way too long now. I guess it's true that everyone has their breaking point because I've definitely reached mine. My family drives me completely out of my mind every second of everyday. They never stop screaming and threatening to end their own lives which just gets me even more depressed because they tell me I'm the root of all the problems. My mom and dad resent me and constantly give me shit because I don't go to school and I don't my cyber school work either. If only they knew I can't go back to school because I can't handle everyone staring at me. They all hate me for a mistake I made almost three years ago. I refuse to deal with that any longer. I'm just falling apart on the inside and out and I have literally no one to hep me or even talk to. I fight the urge everyday to self harm and commit suicide. I just wanna be free of all this pain and depression finally. I'm just done. Please, someone.. anyone who understands what this is like.. talk to me. Help me..
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi black_swan I am sorry your family situation is so toxic to you hun. Education can be taken outside a school hun Is there no volunteer postions y ou can apply for hun to keep your mind busy. and to get work expeiance you need. You are not root to their problems hun the only person you need to take care of is YOU ok You keep talking here we are listening hun we care hugs
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    You say you don't go to school but that you don't do your "cyber school work" either. The not going to school part is understandable, if there is a situation that makes you that uncomfortable. Can you not change schools? What about the cyber school work? That is done from home so it should not be affected by the situation you have being at school. You can apply for Home Bound school, or get into a home schooling type situation. Your parents are likely concerned because you do have to get an education.

    Are you getting any professional help to allow you to learn to cope with the feelings that are bringing you down?

    I'm sorry to hear that your family is not seeming supportive. You can set a plan in place, however, that is positive and if it has to ignore them, then so be it.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this. No-one should be threatening suicide and making it out as it's your fault. That isn't right at all. A lot of us here can understand your feelings, just yesterday I was at my wits end, and honestly considering ending it all, but I held on to a glimmer of hope and that hope is what got me through, and things did get better today, so please, don't give up. :)
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I am really sorry this is happening to you. What you describe at home sounds like a terrible living enviornment. No wonder it is making you feel as you do. I was horrible at school. I seriously had so much going on emotionally that I could not do schoolwork. I tended to sort of check out. And not really be there. So I would not get homework done. Pickwithaustin asked a question i too wanted to ask. Are you getting professional help? I suspect that you have not found a place for that? If anyone would deserve it, its you.

    If there is alcohol in the family can you go to alateen? You deserve people who will help you. And your parents are def not candidates. Above all, please know that things can get much better. You just have to hold on. Get through this. Find help. And you will find help. You found us.

    Glad you found this place. It is safe and good. So please keep posting as much as you want
  6. exkend

    exkend Well-Known Member

    Hello, have you tried talking with anyone at school? If not have you tried talking with your doctor/gp? When things are this bad just remember all you have to do is survive, everything else is a secondary concern. Wishing you the best.
  7. Twinkle ☆ Twinkle

    Twinkle ☆ Twinkle Well-Known Member

    I'm really sorry to hear you are struggling with this. Have you talked to anyone at school about how you are feeling and why you can't accomplish your work? Perhaps talking to a teacher or counselor may help. Perhaps they could help you find alternatives to get an education. I'm also sorry to hear that you're family isn't being supportive. That must be really hard.

    If you need someone to talk to about anything, I'm here and I'd be willing to listen so that you don't feel so lonely and like nobody cares. There are people who care. :)
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