i cant live i dont know how to deal with my suffering someone help me please

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by plzhlpme, May 25, 2008.

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  1. plzhlpme

    plzhlpme Guest

    ive been crying for 2 hours and i cant stopp!!! my life has my crap lately. im sorry if my writing isnt good plz forgive me. i have severe health problems in my back that i dont want to be specific about. ultimately it will kill me anyways. what do i care though. my parents always look at my sibling and his acomplishments yet when they look at my thye just throw money at me and tell me to get away from them. saem thiing at family gatherings people always look down upon me and are unproud of me because of my attitude. they think i takei llegal drugs because i am always sleepy and accuse me of being "high" all the time. when in reality im just to afraid to tell them about the truth. the reason i hide the truth is so i can stay normal for as long as possible. yet when people stare at me in public i cry inside and eventually when i get home my tears pour out for hours like right now. the pain that hurts me the most is not ever being able to laugh with my friends like i use to or to have a girlfriend again like i use to. now people just think im weird but in reality im broken. there is no drug or surgery that can cure me so why should i live!! its so hard im shivering as i type this i just feel like cutting my wrist until i bleed out sometimes ive done it before but i was to scared to cut deeper. how to you guys take the pain of living i know there must be people around that are in my situation. my family hates me, health problems , my friends think im a drug addict because of my false act that i use to hide the truth, my girlfriend dumped me in senior year in highschool and i dropped out of college. i dont know how low my life can go. why are we even on this planet anywayss... i mean our purpose is to be born only to start dying from the point we are created. i just dont see a reason to live if the point of life is to enjkoy it when there is nothing to enjoy anymore. even my best friend left me and my other friend is not rly my friend he just takes my money but the only reason i dont say anything is because i have no one else to talk to. i hate life
    please if someone knows how to cope with the pain if have endured and have every minute of my life (physical and emotionl( i would like to know
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I'm assuming here that you are receiving some treatment for your physical illness:unsure: so what you need to do is tell your doctor what you've told us.
    If you can't say it in words, write it down (or print out what you've put here) and give it to them. You are obviously profoundly depressed and your doctor should be your first port of call with regards to getting some help with it.

    Meanwhile you can always bend an ear here. :smile:
  3. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    I hope the truth gets out before it kills you from the inside. Try talking to people you trust or people who you think will understand. That can be here or with people who live close to you.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You need to find a good therapist. Not all of them are good, but there are some good ones. I had to work up slowly to get to the point with her. My anxiety gets up sometimes when I talk to her. She has to tell me to sit down and breath. She doesn't pull any punches. She won't accept the phrase I don't know. There are others such as could of's,should of's,can't and some others on those lines. She is trying to get me to stop and think of what is the thought behind those words.
    I think she is helping me to look at life differently. The only thing she hasn't helped with is my suicidal thoughts. I don't talk about those thoughts because no one wants to hear about them.
    As far as physical pain is concerned, I have suffered from it for years. I haven't found anything that seems to help. I was seeing a new doctor until last week when I got a letter that I need to find a new doctor because this one won't accept my insurance any more. The only advice I can give is take baby steps and be aware that you will still have thoughts on these lines. I hope this helps a little. The help is there, you just need to search it out.Good luck.
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