i am sick of feeling sick. i have emetephobia which is a fear of vomiting. it takes over my life. I avoid long plane rides/car rides I avoid going out to dinner Food=puke Constantly check expiration dates on food Afraid to take medicines because of side effects, nausea/vomiting Afraid of the flu season, I clean everything and afraid to touch things I avoid people if they even have a tiny stomach ache I avoid kids I avoid rides at amusement parks I avoid being around people that are drinking alcohol I avoid staying over at people’s houses. i just went to the doctor for stomach problems and they said i have a urinary tract infection so im on antibiotics. you dont know what its doing to me mentally. you have to take this medicine with food and most of the time i have been forcing myself to eat. its so hard to do. i always feel like im going to puke. i have been going on walks outside and that makes me feel somewhat better. but for the next week its been in the 40s and rainy and cloudy. i really hate my life. besides the sickness i have a great life but this phobia has taken over to where i am not even the same person. i cry everyday and all day. people wonder whats wrong and keep telling them but they dont understand at all. also lately i have been experiencing dissociation. like things around me dont look like they should. they look strange. i feel like myself is outside of my body. and that things arent really happening. like everything is not real. i should probably stop writing. but i just have so much to say and no one to actually listen to me and know where im coming from.