Another failed relationship with a child. Why do I keep pushing people out of my life. She wanted nothing but to love me and be my wife. After seven years together, a three year old, and a house together, I selfishly kept withdrawing and saying things to her to not get married. Now she leaves me and I am broken. It seems part of me wants to be miserable and alone. It's been four months and I am empty inside. I feel like I will always be partially detached from everything and I don't want to feel this way anymore. Job I hate, no friends, and let another family I dreamt about wither and die. I'm done. She's already started sleeping with other people to move on. 42 years old and see no future. My childhood dreams have all evaporated due to my inaction and none of my kids need be burdened by my failures. They need a role model of success. As soon as I get the courage and try to get my finances freed up for all my kids I will find a way to leave this plane of pain.