I can't figure out my thoughts. It's becoming more and more difficult to communicate. I can't figure out how to make my words make sense. I try to avoid talking because I can't even understand myself, but when I need to talk my mind's doing cartwheels and I just can't do anything. The idea and the gist of what I want to say is there, but I can't put it to words. My mom wants me to talk to her when I'm hurt, but I can't even fucking speak so I don't try. I can barely vent on here because I can't make sense. I still can't get help. I'm back to square one. I never think about it, maybe my autism is causing it. I don't want to be the kind of person that blames everything on their autism. Hell, I made a rant about people who want to cure it. I didn't want to be cured because that would change who I am, but I fucking hate myself anyway so I don't know what I want... Shit...it hurts, I can't think right, I can't talk right, I don't know what to do. I'm stuck.