i can't make them stop!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by This Girl, May 29, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. This Girl

    This Girl Member

    Ive been having dreams of suicide and they scare the hell out of me. When I wake up, i see the dreams. the thoughts creep in and its consuming my mind. I can't go through the day without seeing myself with a weapon to my head, or a razor blade or consuming an entire pharmaceutical bottle! I don't want these thoughts! I want them to go away but I can't get them out of my head. I really feel like I am losing my mind. I have been in a major depressive state and I can't get out. I dont know what to do!
     
  2. cant think

    cant think Member

    You need to talk to people. This is a great place to do it, every single person here is here to support one another, and I personally would like to offer a shoulder to cry on any time you need it, I've had those feelings before as well, and trust me having someone you can talk to about what your going through makes it so much easier to make it through, trust me though, suicide is the worst thing possible. I have attempted suicide, but was lucky enough to survive, and I've also lost someone extremely close to suicide, I know how it feels, so feel free to send me a message, or reply right here, just let everything out, and somebody will help you.
     
  3. This Girl

    This Girl Member

    ive been there too. I attempted suicide 9 years ago and almost died from the overdose. I dont want to take that route but things are messing with me.
     
  4. cant think

    cant think Member

    Well, what's going on right now to make you feel this way? Trust me I was in your position recently, and have been helped by an incredible person, and I would like to help you as well, but I need to know what's happening to help, but trust me no matter what it is, life is better than death, death us final, and forever, these feelings are not. You have people that love you, and this will hurt them so much, trust me I lost the best friend I ever had to suicide, I loved her like a sister, and trust me the pain you leave will be greater than the pain you feel you would be escaping, but the truth is you deserve better than this. This is not something you should do.
     
  5. This Girl

    This Girl Member

    I'm not planning on it, but the thoughts and images are plaguing my brain. I have everything to live for...my husband, my kids.....my brain is playing tricks on me..
     
  6. cant think

    cant think Member

    Have you had a change in your life recently? Depression can come even from good changes. You should tell your husband how your feeling though, but make it clear that you don't actually want to do anything so ad not to worry him. If you can't resolve the issue though, professional help is nothing to be ashamed of.
     
  7. This Girl

    This Girl Member

    i regularly see a psychiatrist and my husband knows how I am feeling. He recently hurt me which is a big cause of my depression and my son is going through some things that are affecting me as well. In the midst of my depression, I am trying to help my son while trying to trust my husband again.
     
  8. cant think

    cant think Member

    Well, I can understand the breach of trust with your husband, trust is a tricky thing, it's easy to lose, and hard to gain. If he did something to lose your trust, if you are truly in love with him, you should give him a chance to earn it back. I can't really offer too much advice there though, but honestly the best thing you can do is be ready to forgive him before you trust him. Remember everybody makes mistakes and he's a human, but don't force yourself to forgive him, you need to be ready first, or you never truly will.
     
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi,. I am so sorry to hear that you are grappling with this. Sounds so horrible. I am glad you are fighting this as you are. Is the psychiatrist doing things to help you? Meds etc?
     
  10. This Girl

    This Girl Member

    I'm currently on both Lithium and Lamictol in pretty high doses and I also take Elavil for sleeping. I had another bad night last night, waking up drenched in sweat and the I would wake up from my nightmare but the moment i fell back asleep, it started off where I woke up! It was like watching a movie! I could have no peace!
     
  11. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I wish I knew something that could help you. I really do. Please just know I care.
     
  12. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Have you reported these difficulties to your pdoc? Sometimes, when you feel a regression, it is time to have your meds re-evaluated. Years ago, I had a similar experience and found that I had to completely change my medications...also, do you have any dx of PTSD? Classically, these experiences are ones rehearsed in our sleep before we deal with them IRL...please continue to post and let us know how you are doing
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.