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I can't much more..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kiba, Jan 17, 2013.

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  1. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I can't take much more of this nightmare.. I can't even leave the house hardly anymore.. My dog is sick, so that even re-enforces that problem.. I was up every 2 or 3 hrs last night with my dog because of her diarrhea..

    I have sensory problems my doc has said and I doubt they will ever go away.. I am having attacks that mimic epilepsy because of them.. I do have an appointment the 30th with a psychologist about possible sensory integration therapies.. But I am doubtful it will do much good..

    I'm living in my bio parents garage stressed every single day with that.. And having been homeless since March of 2012..

    I have gained so much weight from the stress and I am feeling constantly sick every single day..

    Everything just hurts.. I cant really take much more.. A friend just walked in on me before I took something to really mess me up / poss lethal.. I am OK for now.. But I am about over the edge..

    I had just taken a shower to try and loosen up.. and all I can do is cry.. because my sense of reality is so fucking messed up.. I feel like everything isn't real but at the same time it is.. but reality to me is only to me because I perceive it differently then most other people..

    Have only had memories of a friend who committed running thru my head this entire past week..

    Been having trouble sleeping.. and eating is sparatic..

    Have missed more then 5 therapy sessions in the past month due to various problems, my dog being sick, and being unable to handle going anywhere..

    I am waiting on just a friend to get some sort of income so we can at least get our own housing.. But it's taken so long and I'm so close to the edge.. I really can't take much more..

    All I can and have been doing is isolating into online video games... And I nearly got my account hacked on that.. And right now it's my only source of any kind of "sanity" ..
  2. Tired John

    Tired John Well-Known Member

    Hey Youkai, not so good at the fixing people stuff, but I might be able to give you some help for your pup's illness.

    Try feeding her a diet of 1/2 boiled ground turkey or beef, 1/2 white rice, with pumpkin (100% pumpkin, not pie filling) mixed in. Most dogs love it, and it has lots of fiber which will help with the diarrhea. Smaller portion several times a day for a few days is best, then gradually go back to regular diet.
  3. NottiShark

    NottiShark Member

    Just try to hold on, looking at your join date I believe you have a lot of experience in 'carrying on'.

    I can definitely understand this video games thing. In my darkest hours only those games gave me some fun and was kind of escape from reality. Which ones are your favourite ?
  4. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I only play DMO.. I had dog seen by vet and she is on special diet..
  5. Tired John

    Tired John Well-Known Member

    Good to hear. The diet I described was given to me by the Vets at the South Shore Veterinary Hospital in Forest Lake, MN. Just trying to help.
  6. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Youkai sorry things so damn tough for you now.. Hope your dog gets better and you manage to make to some of the therapy sessions. Just said a quick prayer for both of you..
  7. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

  8. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    My therapist is going to be out.. So now I cant even re-schedule.. :'(
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