I cant really say that I am angry or depressed.....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SNX-Inutock, May 9, 2009.

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  1. SNX-Inutock

    SNX-Inutock Member

    I am just downright tired mostly. Life is basically the equivalent of basketball game to me. Great for those that like it but I dont see why I have to be here suffering through it just because the other people around me like it and dont want me to leave...... maybe its just time for me to slip out the emergency exit...... :dry:
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Is there a reason you don't like your life?
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF! Isn't there anything that you like? Any hobbies? Music? etc...anything? Was there ever a poiint in your life that you enjoyed any of the above? You can send me a private message anytime and I'll respond. If you are tired all the time, could be a medical issue. Have you had a thorough blood work-up recently?
  4. SNX-Inutock

    SNX-Inutock Member

    I could probably go on forever but yeah..... its just not my kinda thing. Its not people as individuals but just as a whole that disinterest me in life. Someone always has to be at fault. If you dont like being in crowds you arent normal. Its always ok for onesself to do something but if anyone else does it its wrong i.e. people generally always feel they are privilaged to be "exceptions to the rules". Even the best of people fall prey to believing they are "different" and it drives me insane.

    Then there is whole "it serves no purpose to be alive anyways" as I dont believe in a heaven or hell and it just comes off as being more trouble than its worth.

    I just dont feel like I belong as part of the human race. I cant understand people and people make it obvious they dont understand my thought process either.

    Originally I always wanted to find someone special, be a dad etc. but now..... I will never find anyone, it wont happen..... and even if I did..... I would be a cruel bastard to bring a kid into this world. It all just seems to futile.
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    You can go on as much as you want to. To be honest, I can understand your thought processes, especially certain points that you brought up.

    It's okay not to believe in a Heaven or hell. Not everyone does. But I think it's sad that people are judged because of what they do or don't believe. And I understand where you're coming from about people and crowds. There are other people out there who will share similar thoughts as yours.
  6. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    I hated being in crowds too, infact thats why i don't go to church as i should, e.t.c crowded places, there is only one way: GET USED TO IT. after exposing urself there a couple times, you will finally realize people are not focussed on you as much as you thought. they are minding their own business.

    About getting a partner, how can you tell with that certainty that you will never be with anyone?
  7. SNX-Inutock

    SNX-Inutock Member

    Its not a physical tired so much as a mentally tired state. As far as hobbies, none. I pass time with video games in general but lack any real passion for anything. Even with music, I have no real interest in it.....
  8. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    But the emergency exit sets off an alarm...
    Anyway, it sure sounds like depression to me. I don't know if I can do any good giving advice - I've always had a hard time getting un-depressed. My son, though, also suffers from depression (damn genetics!) and he uses exercise to control his mood. It works for him. If you can force yourself to move...
    I wish you well.
  9. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Ah I pass time with videogames often. Life is a game. I think most of us here, or at least when we came here, wanted to stop playing. Maybe the game will never end while we're alive, but we can learn to take breaks. Not be on constant alert, but be able to relax and find something that makes you happy.
    I don't know I'm trying to use metaphors of life as a game maybe I'm not doing a good job. I sure as hell don't want to keep playing but I don't know how to stop. I'm headed downhill and there's no way back up it seems.
    You say you don't believe in heaven or hell or anything, but do you believe that life has any meaning? Some people say you need to give it meaning, some say there is value in every human life, an objective meaning or purpose. I don't know, start some soul searching maybe.
    Best of luck. I'm here if you ever want to talk :pm:

  10. tls5669

    tls5669 Active Member

    Try it, you may just find the happiness you desire. Being alone sucks ass believe me. Find someone to help you, not a doctor, a significant other.
  11. SNX-Inutock

    SNX-Inutock Member

    Meh. Being alone does suck ass. But either I am going to probably have to accept that, or seppiku. For the longest while I have accepted it. However the older I get, the more and more intriguing that other option is looking.......
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