I was thinking and I honestly can't remember the last time I was truely happy. I mean it. All that I can remember Iv been just in this downward spiral of my own depression. It's annoying I don't have any 100% positive memory's I can think of to cheer myself up. It seems my life is guided by the pursuit of "ingorence is bliss" it's these little distractions from the glaring black hole of my self hatred that get me through the day.