I can't STAND good looking people.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by AlwaysTooTired, Jun 9, 2015.

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  1. I'm not saying all good looking people are bad, but a lot of them have "access" to things that uglier people don't. The line "well hey, looks aren't everything!" was spoken by a good looking person every time I heard it said. They're correct, looks don't make a person 100%, but it's still a huge bonus because if I'm going out/marrying someone, my better half is gonna look at me quite a lot of times won't they not?

    Let's not forget confidence. Ah yes, when you got confidence, you can still come off as attractive even when your face is nothing special. Well, that's fine, but not everyone has a reason to be confident. And sometimes, someone can be so hideous and confidence does not offset their looks at all.

    All of my friends are good looking people, so when I hang out with them, I'm the "ugly guy of the group" by forced comparison. I lived the kind of life where girls were super nice to my friends but were bitches to me. Despite the fact that me and my friends were standing 2 feet away from each other. Not awkward and hurtful at all.

    Do I need to be the most handsome guy in the world to be happy? Nope, but it'd be nice to have the kind of bad looks that people need to remind you that you have. I can't stand when good lookers get treated like gods right off the bat, and some of these people never even have to speak. I wish I could take these people's good looks away just to see how different their lives would be for some of them. God I hate life.

    At work, I see extremely hot women pushing their children in carts. There's always a sadistic part of my brain that goes "Oh yeah, I bet she doesn't have any problems procreating!"
     
  2. caspar

    caspar Well-Known Member

    Hey, my thoughts are that I think anyone can look okay if they make an effort with their appearance, ie nice haircut, shower, shave, look after their teeth, wear flattering and fashionable clothes and shoes etc. That goes for everyone, no matter what your facial features are. Honestly from what I've seen of people, basically everyone is insecure about some aspect of their looks, even very good looking people. Just try and be positive and friendly and open and the majority of people will give you a chance. Those that don't are shallow, so you probably wouldn't want to be around them anyway. I'm sure you have some feature that is attractive (eg eyes, hair, some body part), try and focus on that instead of all the 'bad' things. There's someone out there who will think you're really cute - loads of people don't necessarily go for conventional good looks. I hope what I've said doesn't sound trite.
     
  3. Any non-attractive person can bump themselves up a few notches if they take care of themselves, sure. Still, they can fall short of the absolutely gorgeous people. And the gorgeous still have an advantage. Looks aren't everything, but they're still something. If you get with someone, you're gonna be looking at them quite a lot.

    It always bothered me when the best looking people post a dumb picture of themselves on facebook and there's over 60 likes and extremely convoluted, positive comments. Yet the slightly sort of good looking people get a third of that and the comments are mostly on the setting of the picture, rather than how the person looks. Or how well done the picture is.

    Maybe I'm just saying all this because I went to the most stereotyped suburbanite high school in the fucking world, that was filled with more preps, jocks and emo kids that any average person could fathom. Not to mention, that if you hit on someone or asked someone out that didn't like you back, they would let it go if you were good looking, but the tell the whole fucking world and damage your reputation if you weren't so great in the aesthetics department. Boy, my high school was something you'd see straight out of a disney show or high school movie with an only-good-looking cast. Man, I was the most out of place person there. I demand a medal right now for making it through there.
     
  4. caspar

    caspar Well-Known Member

    Damn that sounds terrible. The school I went to wasn't like that at all, people were popular due to being nice, confident, funny or whatever. Even now I know a lot of very popular social people who would be below average in attractiveness. Maybe the US is more shallow? (I don't know).

    Looks are definitely worth something, but the way I see it, every person on this planet is imperfect in some way. The gorgeous people you observe getting more attention probably have many insecurities of their own, not related to their looks, and you probably have some other positive attribute that they lack. It's just you see their positive attribute every time you look at them. I know so many amazing and beautiful people who would be physically unattractive. They don't have the attractiveness but they have so many other qualities it doesn't matter.

    Also, I know you only used it as an example, but does it really matter that when those people post their photo it gets loads of comments? Do those comments really mean much in the long run (they don't to me). The complimentary comments really mean nothing in comparison to real human connection and true friendship. Facebook and social media is meaningless entertainment imo.

    You don't have to agree with me, I just thought I'd give you my take on what you said, as food for thought. I promise you I really mean what I say. Although I do have many days when I just want to disappear 'cause I feel unattractive...but I know also my face and body is only one facet of who I am.
     
  5. Hooooly hell. The rumors are true, U.S. high schools are the worst. Yes, the U.S. has extremely dark, shallow schools. Every single school I've ever been to was like this. If you weren't good-looking nor had any pre-established popularity, you were nothing more than a target and every single day you had to wake up for school was pure depression. You can't go "Hmm, an entire class laughs at me all day every day, oh but on this very day I'm gonna suddenly be cool and untouchable!" And we can't rewind time and place ourselves on the popular side of society to know what that felt like.

    I personally don't care if I got those comments myself, but it's still a window of a shallow environment you live in. Eh, even if I suddenly turn attractive overnight, it wouldn't matter. I'm so awkward and secluded that there is not a chance in hell any female could deal with me. I am too forgone and can't be repaired. This was one large reason I made my first suicide attempt, the other piece of the reasoning being that I think life is nothing more than a chemical reaction with no god, and I can't catch a break in life, piled with the fact that I have free will and can leave any time I want.
     
  6. caspar

    caspar Well-Known Member

    That sounds awful! I always wondered if TV programs represented American schools properly, I guess they do...

    So did you get bullied in school? It sounds like you went through a horrible time. I can relate, school was horrible and depressing for me too. Do you think being ostracised and laughed at has affected your self worth today? It sounds like you have a really negative image of yourself. How old are you?

    I'm pretty much an idealist...I don't believe anyone is too far gone to be repaired, no matter how old they are or how much they have suffered. There's always hope, you just might have to manufacture it yourself. I can relate to a lot of what you say, but honestly what you or what others think about you is not necessarily the truth. What will attract a female partner is being honest, kind and positive, along with any other attributes you have.

    People want to be around others who make them feel good, and being so down on yourself and comparing yourself to others is probably pushing people away. I would encourage you to see a qualified therapist to talk about things, at least give it a try - like you say you can leave any time you want so you haven't got much to lose.
     
  7. Light

    Light Member

    I understand what you mean. I don't like them much either. When I was still at school a group of girls bullied me, almost all of the girls were good looking. They wished me dead, called me names and they said I am ugly.

    There are many positive and negative things to say about being ugly or beautiful.

    The positive things about being beautiful is that you are very atractive at first sight for people. But the negative thing is that beautiful people are often (not always) emptyheaded, mean and they think they can get everything they want. Relationships often don't last long because of this behavior. They are often used only as a sex subject because their bodies are so atractive.

    The positive thing about not good looking people is that they often are from the inside beautiful. They are not used to get what they want so they really try their best making it all work, trying not to ruin it. Once they get a relationship it is after a while, after getting to know a girl or boy and then you know that he or she cares about you because of how you are, and not because of what you look like. But because of how you do and because you are a nice person. The negative thing about being not good looking is that it won't be fast before you find a person you love. But it will be worth it once you do.
     
  8. BB_dunb

    BB_dunb Member

    I can't stand good looking, bad looking, any kind of people, I hate them equally.
     
  9. The worst part about it is, you're being bullied over something you have no control over. "I'm ugly? Alright, let me set my looks dial from 'deformed' to 'above-average', is this better?"

    Not only are some good looking people emptyheaded, but they usually get a very false insight of what kind of personality they have. People can get so enamored with looks that the 10's are told how "funny" or "smart" they are when they truly aren't, and now these good-looking are convinced they have these traits when they don't. Ugh.
     
  10. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    I think most people are attractive. Just because someone isnt attracted to you doesnt mean youre any less attractive; just not their taste.

    Theres nothing wrong with favoring certain appearance. We are in awe at other things considered aesthetically pleasing to see, such as animals, flowers, shapes, colors, patterns. We dont look for personality in kittens, we just marvel at how cute they look. Or how beautiful the sky is or a house or a toy or a flower. These things arent popular for their personality, but because of their looks.

    For some reason, many people believe it's less acceptable to have that same appreciation of beauty or symmetry in other human beings, despite that we're part of beautiful nature as much as a sapphire, a waterfall, a blossom, a fruit, a puppy, a seashell, grains of sand, a snake, a sloth, and other objects and life forms are. Seeing beauty in them is no different from seeing, and being enamored with, it in each other as well.

    Looking a certain way says nothing about who a person is. What is shallow and superficial, though, is making character judgments of complete strangers based entirely on their outward appearance, whether in attraction or disgust. It's ugly, it's selfish and it's cruel.

    Whatever your anger or disappointment is against another because of how they look, is a personal problem of yours with your stereotypes and preconceptions, and has nothing to do with how "good looking" they are or are not. If you don't think it's fair for you to be judged based on how you look, then don't do it to others.

    It does nothing for your own character, which is what you prefer humans to be treated based upon.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 18, 2015
  11. Light

    Light Member

    That's also a negative point of good looking people. They think they are perfect because they are beautiful. People compliment them yes, fake compliments. The relationship they have with people are mostly fake relationships based on looks. They get compliments of how they look, and also fake compliments like they are funny or smart. They are living a fake life with fake friends and I wouldn't want to trade my life to be a fake barbie doll with fake friends, fake compliments and fake everything.

    With bad looking people relationships are based on the inside on how they truely feel about the other person. They often don't have many friends but they are all real friends. Better have 1, 2 or 3 real friends than 100 fake friends like most beautiful people.

    When good looking people are in trouble, I mean serious trouble. Do you know who is left to help him or her? No one. Because everything they have is fake and everyone will eventually walk away when she/he is in trouble.. Like, imagination.. There is a girl, a very atractive one and she had seks with her boyfriend who is also very atractive and they are both very populair at school. The girl eventually gets pregnant by that boy.. Parents get angry and kick her out of their house because they don't want her anymore now she's pregnant.. Boyfriend doesn't want her anymore either since he only used her to have sex and don't want the baby.. "Friends" ignore her. Well who does she has left? No one..

    What I want to say with this story is that being beautiful has many bad sides aswell, and that being ugly is bad also but at least it is real.. At least you will be living a real life.
     
  12. Did anyone else go through high school thinking, "Hey, this is just like the movies. Sure, mostly everybody hates me and no girls would even think to stand near me, but in the end I'll win and get the girl and defeat my enemies at the same time!" Only to find out that life doesn't work that way. If someone told me that when I was young, that would have saved me a lot of dumb moments.

    You know what else blows, when someone you have a thing for insults you. Uuuuugh does that burn. That crush compliments everyone else, but has a hatred for you. Why me? Why couldn't I have been the cuter guy? Did I do something wrong in a past life? Most likely.
     
  13. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    It depends on who you hang around. To the unknowns, yeah, your looks are the first thing most people see. But it's also your attitude, and how comfortable you are with just yourself. Looks are important, but who the person is, is vastly more important.

    I went to a pretty tame highschool in Canada. Granted my elementary school fucked me up hard lol, so meh I just hid away from everything. What i've learnt...am learning.. is that you can't let the past like that define you now, and your future. That was the bullshit I was told, and the truth is, it is the right.
    Imo the first thing you need to repel is what other people think of you. You are You. Regardless of how other people attempt to define you. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more people are comfortable with you.

    Yeah... when someone you like alot rejects you, it's pretttttty rough. .............. What can you do? Life right.

    The reality is, life is going to throw you lots of curve balls. The more you face them and be more than they are, the stronger you will be in life. And the more you can bypass, resist and most importantly enjoy life without letting small insignificant things affect you. . It's not easy, but.. one step at a time. It builds, and you CAN(If you make that happen) learn how to spot peoples surface bullshit.
     
  14. I actually kinda regret making this thread now. My genius parents decided to have me before getting their shit together, so I lived a very confusing, reclusive life as an only child because my parents were very young and were growing up themselves. I'm so mentally messed up that being alone is something I'm the elite grandmaster at. I can't function properly as a boyfriend or a husband, I just don't have the mental makeup for that. I have to constantly remind my parents that they will never have grandkids and that the last name dies with me.

    It doesn't matter anymore. My time is running out and I have to fight these attacks of insanity that cause me to perform a second suicide attempt - <mod edit - methods>
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2015
  15. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Sorry if I added to making you feel worse, that wasn't what I was aiming for.

    I know it's tough.. especially when you keep reminding yourself that "this" is the way things are going to be. Keep your head up :) You may actually discover that there are countless people out there who go through similar if not the exact same situations. Not being to dilute yours, just meaning that you may find that the older you get, the more people start focusing on the person rather than the looks. It's not easy, but things do get better if you work on them. Many people have gone from completely neglected childhoods to living free happy lives. You just need to work at it... and most importantly, be kind to yourself.

    I hope you feel better, again, sorry if I've caused some sense of distress. I realize youre venting
     
  16. Koji

    Koji Well-Known Member

    Just keep in mind that good looking people didn't choose their looks any more than ugly people did.
     
  17. I don't mean to sound cocky, but I don't understand the solace in that statement.
     
  18. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I do not think it is intended as solace- it is a valid point, none control their looks, yet you have said you hate people for the way they look. The point was it is not their fault / they had nothing to do with it.

    Most of us do not have so many friends, nor have our social calendars so filled that we would be willing to eliminate any percentage of people from the possibility of friendship or relationship by declaring hatred of a class of people based solely on physical appearance and knowing nothing about them. I find bigotry and prejudice based on looks to be a far uglier trait than any physical trait, regardless of what way it is directed.
     
  19. I think that line should be repeated to the good looking people. The non-attractive people understand this statement all too well already. I thought I sort of cancelled out what I said in the thread title when I said that not all good looking people are bad in my first post. Some of my best friends are attractive as shit, though when I see them getting the girls by not lifting a finger, I can't help but have a little pocket of hate for them, no matter how hard I try to fight the hatred off.

    I know I'm making it sound like I need to look like Johnny Depp, Megan Fox and Tom Cruise had a strange 3-way beauty kid, but I don't need that. All I wanted was to just look like someone that didn't scare every girl away and make my life more difficult than it really needed to be. All of my friends were able to grow long hair, all of them have perfectly shaped faces. Oh but not me, I had people comparing my looks to people I didn't want to be compared to while everyone else I knew got the exact opposite. This was one of the many things that contributed to my first and failed suicide attempt and my quick transformation into a full blown Atheist.

    See, even good looking people that live honest and non-shallow lives still have the luxury of waking up every day and not have to deal with the same bullshit that ugly people go through. We all go through some shit in life, but there's one less problem that good looking people need to deal with. I mean fucking jesus, being friendzoned by a girl was a gold trophy for me, because I couldn't go any farther and I should be happy that a girl would continuously speak to me. I'm starting to think this is mainly a United States thing.
     
  20. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Life definitely gives us all our own unique ups and downs. I suppose in one sense, people may envy you because you have friends :)

    I know, life's not fair. I think the hardest thing to do is to see your own beauty and learn to shed off the way society would like us to think. I've always found people who are comfortable with who they are to be the most attractive. I've seen some stunning women, but their attitudes just... kills it. Same with guys. It's amazing how much people start to careless about how you look, and more about who you are. Atleast in a surface sorta way.

    There's always going to be those who go for looks. Same with those who go for brains, or money, or connections, or ability ,ect ... I find the more you try an play everyone elses games, the less you're allowing yourself to simply be yourself. Enjoying your own company is a sure way to start letting people enjoy your company :) Many, many people see beyond looks. And many many people see the beauty in others for who they are.
     
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