i can't stand it anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AlwaysRain, Apr 9, 2007.

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  1. AlwaysRain

    AlwaysRain Active Member

    My life is under constant pressure. I have too many if...
    If I don't do well enough in school I'll be kicked out.
    If I don't find a job within 2 months I will have no money to live on.
    If I'm kicked out of school I cannot stay in this country.
    If I cannot stay in this country I have to go back home and there's no future for me. Going back is my nightmare.

    I tried my best, really. I study as hard as I can, doing homework every day and going to classes. I still have not good enough grades.
    I try to work well, but I always do something wrong. My boss doesn't blame me for that, but I feel he made mistake by hiring me.
    Maybe I'm not good enough for graduate school and for my job?
    It seems no matter how hard I try I'm still not good enough.

    My troubles have no end.
    I had problems with health, the most important person in the world left me.
    All the time I feel that the life I live is not mine.
    It's like trying to wear shoes of a wrong size.
    It doesn't fit me.
    But I have no other choice.
    And first time in my life, in 23, I started to think about suicide as of solution.
  2. Erebos

    Erebos Well-Known Member

    Does your school have counseling services? Your school should compensate if you are experiencing personal problems like this.
  3. AlwaysRain

    AlwaysRain Active Member

    Wow, I did not know they can do that.
    How does it work?
  4. lilboyblue

    lilboyblue Well-Known Member

    go to or call the university health services, tell them how you feel and that you would like some help... and dont worry, it will be confidential.
  5. Erebos

    Erebos Well-Known Member

    Well, you'll have to see how things work specifically at your school. I'm at university right now. I've seen the school psychiatrists. They've diagnosed. They wrote me a doctors note, and though I haven't used it yet, since it would mean revealing my problems to my profs and teaching assistants, that little note can grant me extensions, exemptions, and exam deferrals.

    Schools aren't oblivious to these problems and will take measures to see that your health is taken into priority, not some numbers on a report card.

    Best of luck.
  6. AlwaysRain

    AlwaysRain Active Member

    guys, it's such a big relief.
    I'm really embarassed with my grades, I'm currently on probation and if my GPA is lower than 3.0 this semester, I'm out.
    I don't want to be out. :sad:

    I'll set an appointment tomorrow.
    I'll let you know how it worked.

    Thank you so much!
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