I am turning 32 next month, I live with my Aunt and her Son, I am on Disability. I can not work due to my back acting up and keeping me from working, Had a bad car accident that broke my back 11 years ago and cost me 1 surgery and 2 years rehab and the woman who was soon to be the mother of my twin boys. All my life I have been Physically, Mentally, Emotionally abused by all of my family from age 5-28, From age 5-8 I was Sexually abused and molested by my Mom, Stepdad, Uncle. I never knew my real Dad till I was 24, Then he passed away 3 month's later, When I turned 25, I lost my Mom to suicide. I have no other Family, I have no Friend's, I have no Car, I have Extreme Add, Ocd, Bi-polar, Manic Depression, Suicidal Tendencies Avoidant Personality Disorder. For the past year I have been used by a woman for money and sex, she got money but not sex from me. All I want is to find a woman to be with and settle down with, make a family or complete hers. I have been battling weight since I was 5 years old, nothing I do will help. I carry the fat gene on both sides of my Family, Mom and Dad's. I am 576 lbs, I try everything out there nothing works, Even from Dr's. I am tired of being Single. Why won't any Woman Love me? It is all I want. Nothing else matters to me anymore in life but that. I get called Fat, Ugly, Trashy, Stupid, Lazy, Slobby, Loser by all Women I try to show I am interested in, All of them different shapes and sizes, not all skinny and modely looking. I want to die, I think about it everyday, every second, I don't want to be alone anymore. I can't take anymore of it, Along with the flash backs and the memories of my abuse. being used hurt rejected by everyone I run into. Everything I do in life I fail at, I can not do anything right, Seems all I do is wrong. I try finding thing's to do but I fail at it all no matter how hard and long I stay at doing it, I fail. I feel worthless and starting to feel hopeless. I tried killing myself 6 years ago <edit moderator total eclipse methods> I even fail at suicide, I fail at life, I fail at everything. I don't see the point anymore in anything. It is all hopeless and I am worn down and tired. I don't care anymore.