i cant stay much longer!!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by martinculling, Mar 12, 2010.

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  1. martinculling

    martinculling Member

    hi only posted for the first time yesterday an people have been very kind.
    i feel trapped not happy at home, losing the job i worked so hard for due to my anxieties and my perceptions. my daughter prob will move away soon to live with her boyfriend i want her to be free and happy !!! if my grandparents die what am i going to do? my wifes had enough of me and my problems says i have to go if i dont change. i,ll have to go soon i cant stay on this earth any more. CHRIST WHATS WRONG IN MY HEAD?? i need help

    mart.
     
  2. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    will you be homeless?
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think you need to get on medication for your anxiety and therapy this will help you get stable for you and for your family. Get into some marriage councilling either by yourself or with wife Do everything possible before you loose everything. Youhave to get yourself well okay so talk to your doctor and get help
     
  4. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I second Violet's advice.

    I'm sorry you have to go through all this. I wish I could say something helpful, but I can't.
     
  5. martinculling

    martinculling Member

    how to i stop the internal turmoil i feel? ive been on so many types of meds my gp is at a loss now. on 60mg/dy of duloxetine for 5 weeks still feel awful.
    why do i only see dying as a alternative to carrying on? i know it would destroy them all but i have to feel good for me and believe in me but i dont!! why am in such crisis my wife says i wont realise til everythings gone. narcissist thats the word! i suffer with such bad tension headaches thats why im off work so long. why cant i see things for what they are instead of chasing the solution? as long as i keep talking im still here but my mind is full of dread for the future. why do i feel so empty as a person? is it that ive never learned the core skills for survival in this world but am i total awe of more outgoing people? i did karate for a while and even my instructor said i was on a mission to beat myself up all the time! i even lost confidence in that
    the more i see people happy getting on with their lives the more down i feel sorry to bore you but i just have to talk to you!
    mart.
     
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You aren't boring anyone. :hug: Please keep talking, keep reaching out.
     
  7. martinculling

    martinculling Member

    peace soon!!

    i keep writing letters to my family explaining why i must leave them all.
    why have i so much but feel nothing i just focus inwardly i know i self centered an only child but i feel i cant cut it in this world an around others.
    perhaps ive never found myself!! ive made a plan now i want to go back to a time and a place where i lived as a child and feel free and peaceful to die.
    i cant move on anymore want went wrong to mess up my job marriage?
    i spend ever more time with my grandad sad isnt it at 44yo.its the only place of solice and being. but i know time is running out he is 85yo and i just cant bear the future without him. i cant talk to the therapists like i can here!
    if i cared so much for my loved ones why cant i tough it out and see it through?
    mart u.k
     
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Re: peace soon!!

    I can hear so much pain in there and you say when you're talking it helps...
    have you ever seen a therapist?.....
     
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