So I have been talking to a lot of you guys about the shit storm that has become my heart. Once again my heart is giving up hope on the whole situation. Not only that my heart is giving up on living. I know that if neither of my friends hang out with me this weekend I am going to try and drink myself to death. I don't know how many beers it will take but I am sure 15+ in under 4 hours should do the trick. Maybe even try to hang myself while I am at it. Because my hope fades into darkness so quickly these days. The darkness sticks around for what seems like an eternity. I just can't take it anymore. Especially because of the reason the darkness is here. So I am just giving up unless a life line from one of my friends comes this weekend.