I can't stop so I just want to die

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by BipolarGirl (Deathplease), Aug 13, 2015.

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  1. BipolarGirl (Deathplease)

    BipolarGirl (Deathplease) Well-Known Member

    I am addicted to several things: first cutting - it has been 6 months since I cut, second and the worst right now that I'm trying to deal with is porn. I have someone that is helping me with that but I broke a promise to her. I promised her that I would not watch porn for one month last month on the 14th. Last night I gave in and watched porn. I told her but she has not responded (I sent her a Facebook message, and she has been on since). I am feeling horrible for breaking my promise and worse for driving her away because I broke my promise. I just want to die. I want my struggles to end and I can't see that they ever will.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Are you getting any therapy to help you if not get some I hope you get help for your addiction
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Please be strong. We are here for you and you need to be strong. Please take care and be safe.
  4. suicidalfish

    suicidalfish Active Member

    She's pissed at you for watching porn? So she's mad at you for basically being a normal male? It sounds like she is the asshole in this situation, not you. So don't worry and don't beat yourself over that :). You'll meet someone else if that ends up happening, plenty of girls don't care if you watch porn and in fact I know plenty of girls who watch porn. So relax and take it easy :).
  5. kalliela

    kalliela Active Member

    Obviously he said it is a problem and wants help for it. I disagree..an addiction isn't 'being a normal male' you can get help...accountability with another male should help..and if need be...just ditch the net as in cancel it..get rid of it for a while, if you don't need it for employment at home or anything....it will be well worth taking a break for while and see how you feel. The internet has good things but so many bad...sometimes it's just not worth having. Maybe just take a break for while...see how much better you feel. And you can stop these things..you can be free from it all. When you are tempted...maybe go for a walk outside or call a friend...you don't have to remain in bondage. Keep in touch with the person who is helping you with that..just maybe ask to meet up with him or talk when tempted. Just call him up. If you are more tempted at night..again..you can just unplug your modem..and try to get your thoughts and mind elsewhere the temptation will eventually pass..sometimes it may take a while..but it will pass...hopefully that friend of yours is very available to talk when you need him. Don't think you are ever bothering him when you want to call..that's what friends are for. Hope that helps.

    Good luck to you and God Bless

    Hope ok to post a little positive scripture..if this breaks forums rules..let me know and sorry..just a little encouragement..

    "He who is freed by the Son is free indeed". John 8:36
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 14, 2015
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Addictions to porn can be helped with SLAA. Sex and love addicts annynomous. It's a 12 step program for sex addicts. Of course addiction to porn would be included. I remember knowing someone who attended those meetings irl. She was in my Al-anon group. People liked her very much. please do not allow shame to derail you from recovery. Or worse to cause you to end your life. When in recovery slips usually happen. I hope you will check out SLAA or another recovery group where you can get the support you deserve. If you do not have a group locally then it is my guess meetings can be accessed online or even by telephone conference calls. And even counseling with a therapist, if it is possible. Shame keeps many addicts from the recovery they could have. You deserve recovery.
  7. suicidalfish

    suicidalfish Active Member

    I am just saying that she shouldn't not talk to him anymore for watching porn, that I believe is a really fucked up and bitchy thing to do. Also, you never mentioned how much porn your watching. Yeah if your watching porn all day and jerking off 6 times a day to the point where you can barely blow a load from running out of cum and your dick gets ridiculously sore then yeah you should seek help through sex addicts anonymous. I know a friend who went there and he said most people there were there for porn.

    If your watching porn like once or twice a day daily then it's really not a big deal. If that's your case then don't sweat it. I just know of peoples gfs or whatever she was to you that don't want there bfs or friends or whatever watching porn and that is just bitchy and controlling and stupid.

    Google sex addicts anonymous if you need to. I hope you get some perspective.
  8. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Very interesting stats out there relating to porn. I am one of the dying breed that dont watch porn. I even dont get anything out of it, just like watching those nature shows of animals mating. Too boring.

    But back to the topic dont kick yourself for relapsing and watching porn. Why do you watch porn? Do you have a girlfriend?
  9. BipolarGirl (Deathplease)

    BipolarGirl (Deathplease) Well-Known Member

    I should clarify one thing: I am female.

    Also My friend is my accountability partner so that I can stop watching porn. She has responded since I posted that (she was really busy with her 2 year old, and I was feeling really dejected) she was disappointed that I broke my promise more than that I relapsed. I am working on figuring out why I watch porn. I don't need internet right now per se but my roommate does though currently we just moved apt and haven't gotten new internet yet. I do not have a boyfriend but even if I did I want to wait to have sex until after I am married (pretty much pointless at this point but still something I hold on to most of the time).

    Thank you all for listening to my emotionally provoked post.
  10. suicidalfish

    suicidalfish Active Member

    Cool. I know chicks that watch porn. What's the big deal? Do you spend practically all of your free time watching it or something? If not, why does it matter?
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