I can't stop the thoughts of ending my life today. Getting harder to fight.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by cynthia4141, May 27, 2016.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. cynthia4141

    cynthia4141 Member

    Today has been a rough day. All day at work, all I kept thinking about was the long weekend. I hate weekends because I am alone most of the time. Since my divorce I have been fighting a depression and the alone times are horrid. All I have thought about is how to end my life today and that I should just get it over with. I'm trying to ignore these thoughts as I can't act on them. I made a promise to my therapist. How do I make it thru the weekend alone again.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi @cynthia4141 You can keep safe by staying here and talking to us, I know that loneliness can be dreadful. It's a horrible feeling. But you can get through it, is there any activities on where you live such as bingo or aerobics or anything...? Reach out and see what is going on in your area and meet new people, do you have any children? You will get through this weekend. Please do not harm yourself, it isn't worth it.
     
  3. cynthia4141

    cynthia4141 Member

    Activities......There is church. It is long and complicated but I lost most of what I thought were friends due to my divorce. My kids are with their father for the weekend. Maybe I will be alive by the end of the weekend, maybe I won't, only time will tell. Depression is evil and unfair. I don't understand why I am plagued by it. In reality I have a good life and yes I have kids, they are great!
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    This is what you need to focus on. How old are your kids? They need their mom but like you said depression is evil, it ruins and even ends lives but with the proper supports in place you can get through it. Are you on medication? Forget about the ''friends'' you lost, make new friends who will like you for you. I believe in you and think you can make it through this weekend. Can you call a crisis line or contact a therapist?
     
  5. cynthia4141

    cynthia4141 Member

    I try to focus on my kids. They don't need me as much but they still do THey are 15 and 21. Calling a crisis line or therapist no a chance. I would rather be dead than locked in again.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    What do you mean by being ''locked in''. Like in a psych ward? While it might sound awful and even be awful you must think of the long term effects it might have on you. You need help, please reach out and get it or call a crisis line that won't contact authorities such as the samaritans and just talk, keep reaching out to people and looking around your community, go back to church. Do you have any family you could invite over to keep you company? You deserve to be helped hun.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.