I can't stop thinking about it.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by pleaseilluminateme, Jun 4, 2015.

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  1. pleaseilluminateme

    pleaseilluminateme New Member

    For 10 years, I've been regularly thinking about suicide. I have never put much effort into future plans because I don't think I have a future. Sometimes its worse than others. I've been hospitalized a few times for suicide attempts. But lately its seemed more real. I've been putting so much more thought into it. I've looked into therapy, but I can't seem to decide on a psychologist, and I don't particularly see a better way of dealing with my life than ending it. I am one of the most optimistic, happy people you could meet, but when I'm alone, all I can think about is not being able to deal with life. I've made so many mistakes as an adult, and I don't see myself living with them.
  2. Dumas

    Dumas Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for the pain you are enduring . I know how you feel. I battle the guilt about past mistakes. I am new here as well. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in these feelings and thoughts . Hope you stick around . And don't give up .
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the suicide forums,
    I am sorry you are struggling right now. Do you think it would help to talk about the mistakes you have made? It might help to open up about them and talk through them. You do not deserve this pain and I am glad you joined us here, hopefully together we can get you through this difficult time. I wish you all the best.
  4. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I think about suicide all the time as well. My mind got really messed up after I got stressed out a few years ago. It's just been more than I can deal with and I see death as my only way out. I have no chance at having any kind of a future.
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