i can't survive another look in the mirror...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by The Scream, May 3, 2009.

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  1. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    to see such a freak still breathes...

    im a mess lately...

    i can barely get out of my bed at noon...
    and than im feeling so fucked up, i either want to go back to bed to sleep and escape myself or just die...
    im never "me" in my dreams... not physically and not emotionally either...

    and i can't even lie in bed all day, 'cause i can't sleep anyway with the sound off motor vehicles and people outside laughing louder than they're talking :blink:

    err...

    it just gives me head aches...

    so i listen to songs like...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPyLIBD0jK4&feature=related

    with the hope they'd wake me up...
    and it helps, for all the 3mins that the song last, but after that, i just want to off myself...

    and even though im in a psych hospital right now, i can't tell any of those people that work here this, or else i risk my freedom :sad:
    cause if they put me in the locked up section, i definately wanna die! :dry:

    im freaking restless :sad:
    i can't concentrate my mind on anything either...
    im all day busy, doing nothing :huh:
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    If you're not comfortable talking about what's wrong at the hospital, can you talk here, about why you feel so bad?
     
  3. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    i feel worthless & lonely and evil...

    and i don't know where all these feelings are coming from...

    except for the worthlessness, i have to finish a few drawings for school and i just can't start with them, because i can't concentrate on anything right now, it's just such a mess inside my head :sad:

    and it's lasting for days now...
    it started off with the loneliness... than a few days later the worthlessness started kicking in... and now im starting to feel evil too :sad:

    i just want to escape, either myself, or this life...
    i just don't want to go on like this anymore...
    weed is legal here, but that doesn't even really have a major effect on me :mellow:
     
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