Every day is a complete nightmare. I can't think straight and I want to die but am afraid to die. I am 36, married, with a daughter and I will soon be having gastric bypass surgery as I am dangerously overweight and have diabetes that is getting worse. I have had depression for over twenty three years and have even been in the hospital before due to this. My wife does not really care and my friends are fed up with my "episodes". I have been on anti-depressants for years and why am I even continuing.... there is no hope.