I can't take it anymore

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by RainbowSandra, Nov 28, 2013.

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  1. RainbowSandra

    RainbowSandra Member

    My whole life I've been depressed and no-one seemed to care, it's been up and down through the years but now I just don't see it going up again
    All I do is cry and fight with my boyfriend.. I can't even look at my daughters the same because I feel they deserve better and would be better off without me and I just can't do this anymore and to continue this seems pointless..
     
  2. cots

    cots Well-Known Member

    RainbowSandra, I've been depressed for a long time too and I know it can be difficult. It probably looks really hopeless and bleak right now for you too. Perhaps you would like to share more about why you feel this way and if anything happened to trigger your depression? I may not have much to offer, but am always up for listening.
     
  3. RainbowSandra

    RainbowSandra Member

    I'm not sure, we have been fighting a lot and I've been fighting with my mom, I've been standing up to her for the first time and saying what I want and how I feel.. she gets angry because she wishes I would just stop and start being more like her.. she has said "I wish you wouldn't feel like that/want that" when I talk about something that makes me happy, like when I went vegan a few months ago (and my bf and kids) we changed firstly for health reasons, my 3 year old was always sick and because of this there was no birthday party for my one year old because she didn't want to help me throw a vegan party and my apartment is too small, her reason was "but I still wont taste it" on things that actually taste the same with out dairy, like cinnamon buns ..

    Sometimes I feel like no one sees what I do, all they see is what I don't do, like I can clean the whole apartment but forgot to put the ketchup back in the fridge and that is all they see..
    I get a knot in my stomach when my mom visits because I know she is going to tell me how something isn't good enough or clean enough or how I'm getting fat or something.. there is always something.. so now I don't ask her to visit and only see her about once a month and don't really see anyone else..
    been trying to force myself to keep eating so the little one can keep breastfeeding but some days I just can't eat ..

    Nearly every day when my bf gets home from work he starts by hugging everyone, takes off his shoes and says something like "you forgot to do this" or "why didn't you do that" or "why are books on the floor" .. he gets 2 days off a week and we usually fight in the morning so the whole day is just like this, we try to start the day again so we can spend time together and then we fight again and it just never stops ..
     
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i've had mental health issues since a very young age- yes, it's all so hard... especially when people just ignore you and don't wish to help (oh i know the feeling you describe so well!).

    i hope you find this forum to be of some help
     
  5. cots

    cots Well-Known Member

    Yes, I feel like no one recognises my efforts too, and all they do is point out how ugly and useless I am. I personally find it easier to accept the fact that it's human nature to find faults in others instead of recognising their efforts, probably makes people feel good about themselves.

    Perhaps you'd like to talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling? Find an appropriate time and setting for a talk. Let him in about your thoughts and also let him share his. This way you can prevent miscommunications and second guessing each other.

    Nutrition also plays a part when it comes to moods. I know you probably aren't in the mood for food now, but do try to take your three meals, especially breakfast in the morning even if it's just cereal or porridge. You don't have to eat too much, try a little everyday. Take it a step at a time. All the best, RainbowSandra.
     
  6. RainbowSandra

    RainbowSandra Member

    thank you

    I have always talked to him but we have never gotten into the root of everything and it is just recent that I see what my mom is doing isn't right, breaking me down in anyway and says she is just trying to help .. I always thought I had a good mom, but she wont listen if I ask her to stop this..
    I didn't see this until he said "stop, this has been going on too long, you have to see what she is doing to you"

    maybe we should make a special talking time, like once a week we take 1-3 hours and have too talk about things so we stop keeping everything in ..
    I do try to eat, I'm still eating dinner every day, but the rest is starting to become more of a struggle
     
  7. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    hi sandra,

    oooo!. i notice you're from norway!. that is just so cool... i am currently listening to an album by a group called chipz from noraway- so right now i'm obsessed with the country. weird reason- but yeah?. i hope we can talk more.
     
  8. RainbowSandra

    RainbowSandra Member

    Actually I just live in Norway, but I'm from Iceland, haven't heard of chipz though, maybe I'll check them out :)
     
  9. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member



    i think you'll like them. well, actually i thought i wouldn't like them (because of how bad i'm feeling in myself) but once you start tapping your feet to their album you can't stop. 1 of those groups. i guess they do euro dance, but with a children's theme- i love it
     
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