I can't take it anymore

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by frantic, Oct 4, 2012.

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  1. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    i attempted suicide by cutting my wrists twice in the last three weeks. i was finally feeling better.

    my husband just told me he got fired. he just started the job on monday. the owner just couldn't make up his mind if he could afford another employee. my husband passed on another job for this one. my younger son's birthday is in two weeks. how????? not to mention copays for doctor's appointments, gas, food, all the good stuff.

    this crap has been going for exactly one year now. now we're five months behind on our mortgage and are probably going to lose our home.

    i can't take it anymore.

    i can't deal with this anymore.

    and i don't have a therapit to call adn talk to either. my old therapist dropped me after my last suicide attempt, and the new one i've only seen once, two days ago, so i don't really have a relationship with her yet. and my psychiatrist charges for phone calls. can't have that.

    i am so over it all.
     
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    *hugs* I'm sorry it's rough right now...don't give up though...

    maybe you can email your new therapist? that way it could help you empty your feelings and she would know in what state you're in and stuff...or just leave messages on her answering machine..when I had my therapist, I used to leave her tons of messages...it made me feel better and I didn't feel alone in it...
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    It is unethical for a therapist to drop a client when they need them the most i would think. I hope your new therapist is more professional Hope your hubby can get a hold of the job placement and see if they hired anyone yet see if postion is still available If you are in crisis hun go back and get help from the hospital ok don't harm yourself just go get help hugs
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    I am so sorry things are so rough...your therapist who 'dropped you'-glad you are not with him/her...who does these things? No after care...no referrals? Just 'see ya'? That is awful...regarding your new therapist, maybe during your next session discuss the boundaries and if she is available, when and how. For now, should you not feel safe, please go to an ER...the social workers there make sure the hospital bill is paid if you do not have insurance, so you might also get entitlements if you qualify...also, make sure you contact those you owe...I have been able to put off paying some bills for months by doing that...and please keep posting and letting us know how you are doing
     
  5. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    Thanks! My old therapist, whom I had been with for many years, came to see me in the hospital for termination. She was talking about how she feels like she can't trust me, and that she thinks I need more than she can give me, stuff like that. I have trust and abandonment issues, and of course she knows that. It takes me a long time before I trust someone.

    My new therapist was appalled that my old one dropped me. I think she really knows what she's doing.

    I won't be able to go ip again for a long time. They wanted to keep me last time, because I've been ip so many times, but I left AMA. If they get their hands on me again any time soon, I'm going to be gone for a very long time. I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up at the state hospital for long term treatment. Not gonna happen.

    I don't really know what's going to happen though.
     
  6. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    it sucks when you can't get away from triggers. just seeing my bandaged wrists makes me want to do it again. i try not to look, but they're always there.

    i still have a pack of razor blades that they didn't find.

    sometimes i scare mtyself.
     
  7. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    one of my fish died
     
  8. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    guesss im talking to myself here. oh well.

    went to visit a friend yesterday. she might have leukemia (they sre still running tests). it brought up a lot of bad memories, from a few years ago, when my mom died of leukemia. it was a horrible time, a complete nightmare, everything. it still haunts me.

    im feling so overwhelmed by life again.
     
  9. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    Talking about it can help. Sometimes there aren't any people around for a while but there will be after a while. Don't give up talking here - and to anyone else you feel you can trust.

    I hope things improve for you.
     
  10. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    It's too much. It's all too much. I can't handle it anymore.

    I just want out.
     
  11. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    I'm sorry
     
  12. ndnbeachbum16

    ndnbeachbum16 New Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    My family went through a financial crisis in the past year also. In addition, dad just got fired from his job that provides all his benefits for embezzlement. It sucks.

    Just keep your head up. It does get better. Talk to the bank. There's government assistance plans to modify your mortgage. See if you qualify. There's so many options that have to be explored. Keep yourself busy. That's what helped get me through everything.

    The job situation will get better. I know it's hard to think into the future, but the only thing that helped get my mind off the current state of things was to keep myself busy, and to surround myself with friends and family.
     
  13. sadguy33

    sadguy33 Banned Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    If you die you won't be just dying but your kid and husband will also die. Can you really commit suicide for 3 people??? I don't think you should give up yet with so many people that love you and rely on you. I really hope things go better for you and I do feel sorry that you are going through all this but I would feel 10X worse for the people you leave behind.
     
  14. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    We don't qualify for any of the mortgage programs, nor can we refinance to lower the payments. Tried all that already.

    I'm so completely overwhelmed, and I have no hope for the future. I had hope when all this started a year ago. But after one full year of the same crap over and over, I just don't see it ever getting better.
     
  15. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    Crappy day. Crappy month. Crappy year. Crappy life.

    Every day it's something else. Always something.

    Nononononononono
     
  16. ndnbeachbum16

    ndnbeachbum16 New Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    It will get better =\. I felt the same way, I promise you. It went on for about 3 years in my family's case. But everything worked out. Some things don't, but some do. My dad started drinking and lost his job and all our health insurance. But we were somehow able to get out of the foreclosure with some help from our friends and then able to refinance. You just have to keep your head up. If not for you, for your kids. I saw my mother struggle. But we kept each other strong. Dad didn't, but that's a different story.

    Just please stay strong. It will get better. If not for you, do it for your kids. My mom also threatened suicide. It hurt so bad hearing her say it. Please come here and vent. People will listen, and try to help as much as they can. I'll listen and help as much as I can. But please reconsider, and try to keep living, one day at a time.
     
  17. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    Backed into a corner now. No way out.
     
  18. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Re: I can't takje it anymore

    over over it's all over

    theres no end to this pain

    it is up to me to make it end
     
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