Drew...he's met someone else...please God don't let them get together or I'm doing it. I've made up my mind, the idea of him being with anyone else makes me want to throw up. I can't eat. I'm in shock and I keep thinking about dying. I know what to say in the note, I know how to do it successfully and I'm so close. I gave him everything. I lost so much for him. I did everything for him! He will never meet anyone who put up with so much yet I'd do anything to get back with him. He is my soul mate, the love of my life. I want this to end. I want to look after him and hold him and treasure him again. I want to make him the happiest person alive. I want things to be like they were last year. It would be so easy for me to do it right now because I have too much love for him...I don't want a life without him! I've stopped eating again...I want to starve myself to death because maybe then it wouldn't look like a suicide...my Mum wouldn't have to find me and she'd blame it on my eating disorder. On the other hand it would take long and I would probably cave. I'm taking a look at my life and realizing I just don't want it. If there were a way I could permanently switch off via sedation or something I would do it right now. I can't cope. People have tried to help me but nobody can bring him back in my life. I don't want this...I want to be gone forever. I'm sorry to anyone who tried to help me, my heart's broken and I can't live with a broken heart forever. I love you so much Drew.