I can't take this anymore...

[kaechan]

Hello, my name is Katie. I am 18 years old. Almost 19 (will be in September)....

I can't take it anymore...
My best friend who has been my best friend for 7 whole years...
Has treated me like crap.
He doesn't help anymore....
He makes me feel like...nothing....

My parents make me feel like nothing....


I have threaten suicide a lot. One time got me into a mental hospital. I can't tell my family how I feel...because they threaten to throw me in there.

Now back to my friend...
He has stated 3 times for me to go ahead, he couldn't control me.
I listen to his problems, and he thanks god he has me because I listen. He tells me I am his only friend that acts like they truly care. But when I explain my problems to him....he never listens....he never helps anymore. He seems annoyed by me. Yet he tells me he cares for me when he gets the chance...

He's a two-timer....

And I can't take more of this pain he is giving me....
AND I cannot leave him...
He seems to be my life and my best friend...
If I leave him my life is over....

But...this pain...I am so ready to end it...

thank you for reading.

 

[gentlelady]

:welcome: to the forum Katie. It sounds as if your friend doesn't feel capable of helping you the way you help him. It doesn't mean your friendship has to end. He does not know how to react to you when you talk of suicide. Some people think if they deny it or ignore it thinking you can't be serious it will just go away. Have you considered showing him your post so he knows just how you feel? If he won't listen, maybe he can get it through reading. I don't blame your parents for seeking help for you if you tell them what you are feeling. It is the only way they know to keep you safe. Be careful of using things as threats. It only complicates matters. Please do whatever is necessary for you to stay safe. We are excellent listeners here. :hug:

 

[kaechan]

Well when I tell him how I feel...he makes my words all mixed up...and *sighs* He talks about himself I help...then when I talk about my feelings he's like "Oh...I see...hmmm...well."

 

[gentlelady]

Has he ever been able to help or is this the way it has always been? Some people are simply not cut out to be in the role of helpers. It's hard to understand when it is something you are able to do. These people are often self absorbed and can turn any subject around to be about them. They don't even realize they are doing it. Are there any other people you would feel comfortable sharing with?

 

[kaechan]

No he seems to be the only one.

 

[gentlelady]

You don't have to be alone. We are good listeners and can understand what you are going through. Thanks for giving us the chance to try and support you. Take care Katie. :hug:

 

[Stranger1]

Good Morning Katie,
Why are you afarid to go to the hospital? Nothing is going to happen to you there. If anything it is rather boring. I have my sister bring me books to pass the time.
Basically all they are going to do is evaluate you and start you on meds. It isn't anything like you see in the movies. Once you are stable on the meds they will let you go and try to arrange a therapist for you. Now therapy is where you want to be. They can help you sort out what is happening with you. They will teach you coping skills.
You need to cut your parents a little slack they grew up different than you, in there day you didn't talk of such things and you didn't go to the hospital unless you were mentally unstable.
As far as your friend goes, well I am not going to go there. my only thought I will share is he's not much of a friend. I will leave that alone. Please Katie seek help while you are still young. When you get to be my age It is harder to open up and talk about your problems.Take Care and Stay Safe.....