I saw my therapist today and even though I'm usually able to talk to her very easily, for some reason I couldn't talk today. I wasn't able to tell her I fired my psychiatrist. I wasn't able to tell her I'm hearing voices. I wasn't able to tell her I'm suicidal and have both a plan and the means to act on it. I just sat there and looked stupid. She could obviously tell something was wrong and asked if I could keep myself safe until next week, and I nodded my head. Apparently that was good enough for her. But that's not going to stop me. It's not like she can do anything about me lying to her if I'm dead anyway.