I can't tell them anything.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by cayzira, Jul 1, 2008.

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  1. cayzira

    cayzira Well-Known Member

    Things have been shit recently. Like really shit.

    I phoned my Camhs team and asked for an appointment (Haven't been in 2 months) and they gave me one for today. But that was 3 weeks ago, now I don't really want to talk to them anymore.

    I just don't know what to say. I can't tell them most of what I've been feeling, or about the pills, otherwise I'll end up back in Cheadle with Susan (Maybe thats not such a bad idea? - Although proably not) If they know I've been S/I again they'll.... I dunno, but I know somthing bad'll happen. It always does when I talk to them :dry:

    I want to tell them that I'e been back on my fluxitine (I had alot left from last time) but I'm scared to. I'm proably not suppost to have hed on to them... let alone restart the treatment without consulting them... but If I don't tell them, then I'll run out, and last time I stopped without warning was hell. But if I do tell them, then I'll proably have to come off it anyway.

    I think given that I was "cured" this time 4 months ago, they won't want me back on them... can't blame them: It's expensive shit! But things have been pretty tough recently, and I've been the worst I've been since the ward. I'm worried what'll happen without them... hell I'm worried what'll happen when I am on them so... I dunno.

    Can't talk to them about cutting, can't talk to them about pills, can't get more meds, and don't want to talk about Susan to them (Even thought that is making more down than anything) So why am I even going? If they'd seen me 3 weeks ago I would have had somthing to say :sad:
  2. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hey Hun,

    I know exactly how you feel. On the rare occasion that I need to talk to my cpn & I phone for an appt by the time the appt comes you don't have anything to say & you don't want to waste their time. That's how I feel anyway.

    I hate it when they see an improvement in me because I know I will just end up going back to the way I was, I feel like a fake sometimes but maybe that's just me.

    Anyhow, hun, I am hoping that you went to the appt, even if it was just to say that you are struggling. I don't know your history or that but I guess if you have been on Fluoxetine before then it would be ok again.

  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    i hope you went and did tell them how you felt when you called. They cannot help if they don't know.They think you were cured, but I don't think anyone is ever completely cured and they understand that. Circumstances do arise that can possibly cause a setback. Please try and be honest with them and with yourself. :hug:
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