I cant tell them how sorry i am

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Sweet_Melody, Oct 2, 2009.

  1. Sweet_Melody

    Sweet_Melody Member

    So i have to show them.
    Well. I wouldnt say im suicidal, because i know death is too good for me. I have hurt so many people, so many times, that i want to feel the pain that i've inflicted on them. I want to hurt myself so bad that i will be wishing for death. I want to hurt myself so bad that they will all see how truly sorry i am for hurting them. I just dont know how, and that is killing me. I dont know if it will make sense to anyone else, but it makes sense in my head.
    They dont think im serious.
    I am serious. Dead serious.
    Just wanted to say that.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your illness had done these things not you. Get them to understand that you will do anything to get your illness under control You will follow doctors recommendation therapy medication whatever it takes to get well. This is how you show them you care by taking care of you. Don't harm yourself as it will only be more pain heal yourself with help and support of professionals.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi sweet melody, welcome to the forums.
    I was quite surprised when I read your post, I feel that way occasionally :( What you said makes perfect sense to me.
    Please don't harm yourself. Whatever you have done, you need to forgive yourself for it. Also, tell them how sorry you are for it and when they forgive you, it will get easier :hug:
  4. Zoe

    Zoe Well-Known Member

    Sweet Melody: :hug:

    Causing pain to yourself won't make right previous pain caused, it'll only keep the cycle of pain going. I do understand the emotion of wanting it, though.

    I'm sorry to read you're in this pain, hope it eases up for you.
  5. Sweet_Melody

    Sweet_Melody Member

    Thank you for replying, it really means a lot to me.
    The thing is, i dont want to cry wolf.
    They know. And they wont realize that im serious, and i think i need to do this.
  6. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    you dont need to do this.

    it will only cause more hurt to you and the people you know.

    please get help/post more on here etc.

    /ive felt the same way in regards to 'friends' i have had and i understand it probably makes sense in your head but in reality it will only cause more problems in the long run.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree you need to show them by getting help and making an effort to change..When they see your serious about changing then they will come around..Coming here to the forum will give you some of the support you need..Causing yourself injury won't help heal those wounds.. If anything it will make things worst..The healing starts with you...Take Care!!!