I can't think of a title...

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by AlexElm, Mar 3, 2011.

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  1. AlexElm

    AlexElm Well-Known Member

    I look into her eyes, as we brace for the bitter end.
    Sirens blare in the background, the situation hard to comprehend.
    I looked into the camera and said my name, explained the situation,
    And I turned the camera to Beth, letting her explain to the future nation.
    The thing’s roar echoed through the bridge and I saw her tears stream down.
    The day with her to Coney Island came back, that perfect day in another town.
    I watched her perfect face, her perfect heart, her perfect eyes.
    A missile hits the bridge and as the bridge we’re under starts to collapse, I realize
    Beyond all reason, without a trace of doubt, that I was in love,
    My life flashed before my eyes, and I saw Beth, my truelove.
    I covered Beth while I covered her protectively and then I professed my love
    And with the last of her energy she did too and then an explosion came from above.

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    This is a different point of view to the end of the movie Cloverfield. Best movie ever?

    Remember to comment.
     
  2. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    Are you wanting this poem to be critiqued? If so I will, but not unless you want me too. http://poem.org/forum/
     
  3. AlexElm

    AlexElm Well-Known Member

    I know there are a lot of mistakes, but yes I want critique. Please?
     
  4. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    Do you mind too much if I wait till tomorrow when I am wider awake? I am pretty tired right now.
     
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