I can't wait

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cariad_Bach, May 8, 2012.

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  1. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    It is not parenthood that is about sarifice, for me; it is love. I love my family and therefore I have to make sacrifices for them. If I didn't, I wouldn't be the person I want to be. I honestly don't see myself ever having a future family. If I didn't have my family I would have literally no one. One day, I know, that will happen. And that day, I will be free to do something totally selfish, something totally for me. And what I will do, is follow them as quickly as possible.

    Its just such a long way away. Its such a long wait.
  2. Brokengirl123

    Brokengirl123 Well-Known Member

    I hope you do manage to wait Cariad. I know how you feel though, this is what I want too. Lately though I just don't think I can wait. I think they will have to go through some pain so that I can relieve mine. Yes that is how selfish I have become because of all of this. Sometimes I wish we would all get carbon monoxide poisoning so we can all go peacefully together. I have even thought about disabling the carbon monixide alarm we have I am thinking right now. That is my dream right now. No suffering for anyone, and all loved ones together in heaven, peace and happiness at long long last. What a nightmare this whole entire life has been. God I never thought I would ever have to think things like this. I never believed things could get so bad that I would actually begin a method to kill myself, that I would ever think of doing such selfish things. I cannot believe this is how it will all end.

    I really hope you can find new meaning to your own life Cariad but if you cannot then at least you are not being selfish like me and causing unecessary grief and pain to your loved ones. You are a brave star. <3
    Last edited by a moderator: May 8, 2012
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