I can't.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Scum, Feb 15, 2009.

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  1. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm soirry. I have to hold on tonight, and speak to my therapy tomorrow. I'm so scared.
  2. simpleblue

    simpleblue Member

    they will help you through it * hugs *
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey. . i am here if you need to talk. .

    let us know what happens re the therapist, hun xxxx and hugs
  4. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hope you are doing ok :hug:

    I hope therapy goes well for you.

    :hug: Claire xx
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Scum,

    welcome back to the forum :)

    I hope you are feeling better today,I'm here if you need to talk,take care xxx
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I just want to thank you for all your replies :) I did manage to get through last night, most importantly, in one piece. I called my therapist today and told her everything and she helped me work out a plan for tomorrow (when I have group therapy, which was the reason I was panicking), so I just have to get through tomorrow, then I can stop worrying about it for a week, lol.

    Thank you.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Group therapy sucks. In my experience with it I was either attacked by the others in the group with questions after I told them that I don't speak much, The other group I attended I had a girl tell me that my thoughts were unacceptable and the therapist never said anything to her. I never went back to either one..
  8. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you managed to work out a plan with your therapist.

    Hope your group session goes well.

    :arms: Claire xx
  9. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    i am wishing you well, also, on the group session.
    please check back with us hun and let us know. .. ok??

    we are all in your corner! don't forget that. .. xxxxx
  10. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I just walked out of group therapy. I think I quit. Just not told anyone.

    My head is so fucked.

    But ~I'm fine. There is nothing wrong with me.
  11. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear group didn't go well.

    Can you not get 1 on 1 therapy instead? xx
  12. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the reply. As part of the group therapy I also have one to one therapy. I really was in horrendous crisis yesterday and this morning, but after talking to her today, and doing something moderately thick, I feel a bit better and less dissociated. I was really honest with her about everything, which was more than I managed yesterday. She is off next week, but she has made provisions for me to still get support.

    I hate to admit it, but I actually really like her and how she works, which is a hugely important thing for me, and rare too, lol. I just have to make sure I get through each crisis still staying in therapy and not quitting in an impulsive or dissociated state. That's not always easy though, when you are in that way, but I have to try.

    Thank you for the reply :)
  13. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Your post sounds a little brighter :smile:.

    I'm glad you get on so well with your therapist, that's so important in order for you to feel comfortable. We all do things we regret especially things that are said & done in the heat of the moment. It's good that you can be honest with your therapist, it's always better that way.
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Thank you :) Yes, I feel a little clearer and more settled in myself, which is good enough for me right now. Hopefully it will last for a short while, at least :) Thank you for the replies Claire, they mean a lot.

  15. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Oh fuck. it takes such a small thing. my therapist is away next week and ive just got really anxious about it. I'm panicking. i should be able to cope with this, and i do need to do a lot of mindfulness i think to help me cope, but i really thought i would do better than this. its just like a switch was flicked- ok to panic in a few short minutes.
  16. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    Sorry just seen this post. I don't come in this section much, too much to handle and all that jazz.

    I'm sorry you are feeling really anxious about your therapist being away, my therapist had a weeks holiday too this week, she apologized before going but i pretended i wasn't bothered - i was though, i just don't allow myself to think about it because it won't change anything. So I know how it feels, how those 7days you can just about cope with suddenly becomes 14days to get through...that is so difficult to deal with.

    I refused to do group therapy, definately not my cup of tea, why bother doing something that i know will not make any difference and i know i would go and feel so out of place, and simply revert into looking after everyone else except myself. Plus i don't like to think of myself as a person that needs therapy let alone get together with a bunch of other people needing therapy. Its okay online because i can walk away from it all and not get emotionally involved, but in reality i think it would push some bad buttons. What i'm trying to say is maybe group therapy isn't for you, not all types of therapy are, but it doesn't make you a bad person.
  17. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Scum,
    I am glad you decided to stick with your therapist!! You can learn alot about how to cope from her..I think the world of mine. I was away from her for the last month and a half and was really down on myself. I was really paranoid about going back because I thought she was going to be mad at me and possibly drop me as a client. Well I was worried over nothing she welcomed me back and was very supportive of me..
    I don't know how long you have been with her but it sounds like yours is very supportive of you also. You said she made arrangements for you if you needed help. Have you checked on that yet? I'm sure she wouldn't steer you wrong and has set up a decent support system for you!! I wish you the best!!!
  18. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the support and replies guys :) It means a lot, thank you.

    I'm up and down with this, but am spending most of my time in a low state of anxiety, at best. I have found that doing Mindfulness helps though, so at least there is something that can help.

    I am deemed too complex to help by the professionals in my area so had to look further afield. This is my last shot at getting better, so even though group is definitely hard, it might open doors further down the road, or it might equip me with the skills I need to be able to function better. It IS hard, but I also know that sometimes the hardest things are the things most worth doing.

    I haven't been seeing my therapist long, only 6 weeks or so, but I see her for an individual hour session and a 5 hour group session each week, so I feel like I know her better than if I had been seeing her for just hour long individual sessions for 6 weeks.

    Stranger, I'm so glad your therapist was supportive of you :) That sounds exactly what you needed, and she does sound similar in her approach to mine.

    The arrangements she has made are for me to see my psych this werk to check in after gorup therapy and let him know how I am, and she also gave me the numbers of two people at the hospital I can call, one of whom runs the group sessions with her, and the other I have never heard of. She gave me a ton of homework to do and I am doing my best with that, although I am struggling, but it is helping. Unfortunately though, I'm barely eating because I'm that stressed and panicked, and eating makes me panic more.

    I'm just very worried about falling without a safety net next week because whilst I know that I can have support, it's not her. How pathetic does that sound, lol.

    Trust me to go into a full blown crisis just before she went. Great bloody timing!
  19. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    She's uncontactable now, until Monday 2nd. It's a weird feeling. I'm sure I'll be fine, I do just feel very alone, I think.

    Just each minute at a time, and not looking too far ahead. *breathes*
  20. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    You're not pathetic, it's easy to get a bit worked up when things are out of your comfort zone.

    You still have a safety net next week, it's just not one that you are used to. Sometimes it takes small changes to realise that you can cope & you can get through it.

    I know right now the 2nd seems like forever, but don't look at the whole thing, break it down, take it day by day, or a few days at a time, e.g. the weekend or mon - wed. Try & set yourself small goals like doing your homework or even going for a walk. All these small things can make a difference.

    If you feel that you're not coping then call one of the numbers you have, they will have a bit of background about you & they are there to help you.

    We are all here for you too, it's amazing how much time you can spend on here, even if it's just browsing rather than posting/replying. I am still off work next week, so I'll be about a fair bit too.

    Take care of yourself, Claire xx
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