i cant

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by thaliapage, Sep 17, 2010.

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  1. thaliapage

    thaliapage Member

    i cant do this... i can' be what every one expects me to be. i cant be who i want to be. i am nothing.
    i'm in my last undergraduate year in a course that was suppose to lead immediately into honours. but i completely sabotaged everything, i made sure i would get below the cut off mark in research method in order to qualify for the honours program. the only reason is that in 2nd year the plan was to stick it out until 3rd year, and then if i wasn’t talking to people i was suppose to fail this subject. lo and behold im not talking to anyone apart from one tutor who always comments on what i am wearing (i think in a bid to get me to talk) but all i seem to say is "yeah" and "thanks."
    but now i am discluded from honours and have zero chance of getting into another uni, and cant see me being able to hold down a job for long. and so im stuck. there’s already a plan in my head that says January is D-day. and im scared and welcoming it at the same time. i know i will go ahead with the plan if i don’t get into anything else, and that’s comforting in a way. but at the same time, im thinking it is better for me to purposely fail some f my subjects and spend an extra year in uni than what was originally planned.
    i dont know
    both are equal in my mind; but the former more so than the later.
    :(
    i dont know what i want out of this thread.. im sorry for wasting your time.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Not a waste at all...sometimes we cause ourselves problems because these are the ones we can deal with...maybe 'failing' is a mask for accomplishing in some way...just a thought, J
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think you need to look after you and what your wants are. You need to maybe decrease some of the stressors on you and enjoy living a bit.
    You can succeed you know that but do it at your own pace okay be kind to you
     
  4. Genoseid

    Genoseid Banned Member

    Xxxxxx
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 18, 2010
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