I caved in to pressure

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by kushioncut, Sep 22, 2012.

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  1. kushioncut

    kushioncut Active Member

    I caved in to pressure and felt I had no support. I went to see me abuser this morning. I have stayed away from him for a month, but today I caved. My Dr and therapist have been so hell bent on getting me into a DBT group, that the fact that I just got out of a ten yeat very physically abusive relationship seemed to be forgot abouut. With all the pressures of the dr and DBT group, and going $630.oo in debt to take a class a I dont want to take and will be exhausted from working all day then not get out of the class til 8 and home til 9, only to sleep and be leave for work at 7 in morning. It all I got to me. When he texted and asked me to come ovver, I went. Pitifully enough, worse thing that happened was he slapped me hard across the face. I am thinking that I must be a really horrible person and thought I needed to be severaly abused. My counselor and dr are punishing me, so I may as well go back to my abuser,
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your Dr and your counselor are not punishing you they are trying to get you into therapy so you don't do what you just did go back to your abuser hun you need help take it ok go and get YOU strong so you don't have to ever be abused again hugs
     
  3. kushioncut

    kushioncut Active Member

    I think they are punishing me and setting me up to fail, because they kmow I am already exhausted after work am getting less than 4 hours of sleep a night and working all day.. I told them i will go to group but have no intention on partici[ating bevsuse i will be to tired and anxious. My abuser threatened to kill me in the past, i wish he would have done it.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You need to ask for a leave from your work then It is the law that they have to give you time off for medical reasons without penalty hun You need to look after your mental health now so no further harm comes to you
     
  5. JPatts04

    JPatts04 New Member

    No one deserves abuse. NO ONE. Your doctor isn't trying to punish you; they're worried about you and want you to get well and have a happier life.

    I know what it's like to be in an abusive relationship. After a while, you begin to believe that you've done something wrong, that maybe you deserve this, and that there's no way out. It becomes all that you know and your resolve to get away becomes less less as time goes on. Staying there or going back to this guy is only going to hurt you more, beyond the physical point. He seems to have taken the beautiful person you are inside and stuffed it into this little box and hidden it away, replacing it with what he wants you to think you are. But, don't let him!! Find yourself again. Remember, your doctor doesn't want to hurt you, they just want what's best for you.

    I agree with TotalEclipse. Ask for medical leave at your job. Lord knows you will probably need it, and it will give you some time to sort out your thoughts. Never go with thoughts of not wanting to participate. You never know where a simple discussion will lead you.
     
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