I was suppose to go to the hospital yesterday because of my suicidal thoughts and chickened out!! My augoriphobia and socialphobia kicked in and then when it was time to go I couldn't walk out the door. My anxiety went thru the roof so I took two xanax and grabbed a knife and cut myself instead.Not deep just more like scrathes than penetrating the skin. I don't know why I couldn't go I have been there ten times already over the years. I guess I was worried that they might send me to the state hospital this time. I don't want anything to do with state, I have hurd too many stories about that place!! I feel That I can't give others here on the forum advice anymore because I couldn't take my own!!! I am really sorry to those who showed support to me when I said I was going. I will bow out and not give advice anymore. I HAVE BECOME A COWARD!!