I Continue To Fall

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Forgotten_Man, Jun 11, 2012.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    So this past weekend I took my kitty to the vet to get her groomed and get blood and urine work. As usual her blood work came back just fine, all values look normal. Her urine however, had a potential red flag in it. Seem she has a lot of protien in her urine. Apparently this is a sign of the beginning of kidney failure.

    Now I am so far beyond helping that I am anxious to hear back from the vet on the official urine tests. Not because I want to know if the kitty is ok. No it is because I am hoping that it is a problem and that means I will be dead sooner rather than later. Yes I keep falling and falling... even if I am wishing a painful death on my kitty. As much as I hate to do anything like that.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    wishing this is just a glitch in your kittys health FM and she will be around for a while longer
    that means you will stay around too right?
    are you getting any help for your depression? I'm not sure if you've mentioned before
    have you tried meds? have counseling? :arms:
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    The kidneys is a common issue for cats. Our last cat left us due to that, though she was quite old also. We have one now that may have some issues like that, but she is strong and we stand behind her. Water is important for cats and making it available to them all the time helps reduce the chances of this issue. Cats are very picky and mine prefer not to drink from the water dish in the kitchen, but when we put one in our bathroom, they hover around it and drink as if it were a keg at a college party. Cats are funny critters in so many ways.

    Pets become our family and we learn to love them as we would another family member. I hope that your love for your cat helps lead strength to him or her and that it pulls through this, or that it has no issue at all (which is entirely possible... it would not be the first time test results were bogus). Hang in there and look for a brighter day. They're out there, but like everything else... they have to be looked hard for.
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @IV2010: We can all hope that it is a glitch... at times I hope that my sister will make me adopt another kitty... that way I would be forced to be around for longer. Then I hope that I can kill myself before that happens. I do not know, my kitty has shown plenty of false positives in her work before, this should be no different.

    No I have not gotten any help. I do not know how to find good help and do not want to go onto meds. Espcially now that my health insurance is HSA and requires me to pay $3000 out of pocket to afford my medical costs before the insurance kicks in. My company has resources.. I might use them I might not. I am just focusing on saving my money for a house right now. Well a house or an inheritance for my mom so she can get a partial refund on me.

    @pickwithaustin: Yeah I know all about common problems with kitties. I had a kitty before hand and she lived to be 19. However, her kidnies failed then her liver and then we had her put to sleep. Because she would have just suffered for the extra month that meds would have kept her going. I know how picky my cat is too. She only drinks running water out of the sink.

    Right now I use my kitty as an excuse to stay alive. I do not feel what I do is fair... but what else can I do to not just end my life. That is why I am going to kill myself when the kitty dies.
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