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I could really use...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gwalchmei, Mar 22, 2008.

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  1. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    Getting hit by lightning or something right now. I seriously mean it...
  2. Mathale

    Mathale Well-Known Member

    Weirdly, as much as that being very unlucky, its ironically lucky. 1 in 3 million chance of getting hit by lightening.

    what's up buddy? Is it something that's getting you down? or do you feel like giving up on something?
  3. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    Broke up with fiance. We are expecting a child together. I'm still kind of devestated about all that happened (and how it did).
    I want to support (and see!!!) our child together. But I can't even get her to talk, right now.
    Maybe it would be better for everyone involved if I just went to the woods and put a bullet through my brain (though I have the feeling it's so small, the bullet would probably sail clean past it without touching it).
    Maybe the baby would be better off not knowing me for the loser I am. Maybe the son I already have would be better off, too - at least he could get my savings and social security.
    I curse the day I was born.
  4. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    Sorry I used the wrong face, earlier.
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i'm sorry about the break up and to see you are so suicidal
    one of the symptoms of depression is feeling like a loser (another one is being suicidal)... our brains start to twist everything that happens as evidence of our loserdom. but you know, it's a lie. none of us is perfect, but you are not a loser. you are just sad, suffering, and more than a little desperate. please don't give up. your child will never recover from this; nor would your partner, friends and family. can you tell anyone -- other than us i mean -- how low you are feeling?

  6. mike z

    mike z New Member

    Your children will always love you, you sound like a caring and noble person. I'm sure you think you have made mistakes, and that you wish you could do more for your children, provide more for them, but believe me, they will love you because you are a good person and wanting the best for them is far better than providing material happiness. Having a caring father is something that no toys or fancy clothes or big house can ever compare to. I know. It's what keeps me going, because I know I have parents that love me, a brother and sister who are talented and intelligent who have worked very hard and have great futures ahead of them, and I couldn't bring myself to do anything that would hurt them so bad, I have to keep trying to move forward, if only for their sake.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2008
  7. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey, I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now.

    How long ago did you and your fiance break up? Maybe she needs a bit of time and space, when feelings calm down hopefully she'll approach you because being the father you do have a right to be a part of the child's life. Maybe by the time the baby is born, you will both be back together.

    The son you already have - are you close to him? I doubt very much he'd be better off without you. As already said depression warps our minds into thinking we are losers etc but people outside our biased shells see different to what we see - I'm sure your son doesn't believe you are a loser.

    I hope things work out for you. :hug:

    (PS, are you from Wales? Another Welshie here :))
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