I've tried to kill myself 3 times. The first time was broken up by divine intervention. The second time I was hospitalized and had to get my stomach pumped, and the 3rd time would have been it, except there was xxx, I was arrested and served time. I've been really depressed lately, don't feel like I have any friends that really care about me, yeah they act like they do when shit gets rough but on a regular basis it's almost as if they could care less. My girlfriend and I aren't even really together, because her parents don't wan't us to be together - I'm 22, she's 19. Because of that I can't see her in public or talk to her really, effectively crippling any good relationship. I work a part time pity job that my parents gave to me because they didn't want me to get evicted, and it sucks, but I barely make enough to pay for everything and rely solely on ramen noodles as every meal. My days consist of me sitting in class or at a/my computer trying to talk to friends that have seemingly no interest in me while watching Netflix online trying to distract myself from the harsh reality. Now more than ever I have felt the urge set in, and so I tried to seek out something, someone to talk to, someone that understands, so I made an account here. I'm not an outcast by any means, but just don't really like I matter in this world. My life isn't really going to amount to anything, so why try? Nothing really matters.