I deleted myself from life

[MarvelFan]

This is really hard to say and maybe more hard for most of you to understand.

My name is Ryan I killed little Ryan (me) I threw away all my trophies, all my awards from school and all my families pictures of me.

My dad told me I should have not done that but I did it anyways. I dont know why I did it but I did if you can answer that question then you have something

 

[iwihbn]

Holy hell, man. I've read your story and I think I've got a somewhat alright point:
Did you perhaps feel like you weren't worthy of those trophies and awards, the 'happy life,' that you may have had in childhood? You've witnessed a lot of trauma, too, so I could see that those physical reminders of your memories would make the trauma even worse, seeing 'yourself' before it happened.
Whatever the reason, we're here to help and support you!

 

[Walker]

Well, how do you feel now?

 

[HappyKitty]

Did someone demoralised you that make you into doing that? I know that road, I used to think I wanted to throw away all my old useless artworks but then I managed to turn it around though, I collected the pieces that have the most & combined it. Maybe if those stuffs doesn't make you happy, you can always reinvent yourself.

 

[MosesY]

The things you threw away is just stuff. I hope that you never look back and regret that. I am glad that basically you are okay still, you are still alive. In your story you say you are 39 I imagine you are 40 now which I found to be a good age, some of the best years of my life. You say this in the postings where your story is at; " I have put a mind block on myself for the last 20 years and only focus on what I need to get by, is what keeps me going.' I imagine the things you threw away reminded you of your very traumatic childhood. I hope that you are feeling better today, please let us know.

 

[MarvelFan]

Holy hell, man. I've read your story and I think I've got a somewhat alright point:
Did you perhaps feel like you weren't worthy of those trophies and awards, the 'happy life,' that you may have had in childhood? You've witnessed a lot of trauma, too, so I could see that those physical reminders of your memories would make the trauma even worse, seeing 'yourself' before it happened.
Whatever the reason, we're here to help and support you!

Trauma I talk to ww2 people and have so much trauma and have their trauma to0 of losing friends in war and people that have been abused and so much I am an empth my therapist said. I went to her and she seen people in wars and things but she cried when she seen me I was trembling I hard a time talking I told her "please help me" they all just used their computers to evaluate me