i deserve death

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by An Angel in Black, Jan 25, 2008.

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  1. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    ive honestly thought it, and ive never known anyone that has accomplished less in my amoutn of time.. im so fucking worthless and stupid i need to die.. i need it not because i want it, but because i deserve it. did you know i somehow managed to fuck over my parents because i selfishly wante dto go to japan? because i told myself i was worth sometihng? tha i could do this, and to prove a point i went, and when i got back my parents had given up the rent money for that month, just to fund me.. FUCK ME!! im so fucking worthless :mad: and believe me..im gettig what i deserve very soon, believe me. and you know what? i deserve every fucking bit of torment i get. i can not only see ahy my parents fucking hate me, but i understand it as well. and i dont blame them for a second..ive also ran up 9000 dollars in credit cards, and then i also have been lieing to them lately so i wouldnt have to be around them.. you see? do you see what i mean? i need to die, no..i hve to die.. its the only way to rid the world of my F***ING CURSE... F**K ME!! FU*K ME I NEED TO DIE!!
     
  2. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    You dont deserve to die and your parents gave up the money because they love you. Youve made a mistake, we all do. Dont punish yourself. 9000 dollars can be replaced you cant.
     
  3. LILICHIPIE

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    Angel

    We can talk about this

    love you
    agnes
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Angel. I'm guessing that you didn't tell them that you were going to Japan? If that was the case then they were probably worried sick about you. That shows that they do care about you, even though they don't show you. Racking up $9000 of credit card debt was probably not the best idea, but you could pay it off eventually. It's not the end of the world man.
     
  5. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    hi agnes, im sorry about last night..i fell asleep..lol honestly i felt horrible last night, and im feeling pretty simular tonight as well..unfortunantly i wont even be able to log on agina till about at least 6 hours from now...im sorry, i guess i overreacted..-_- im sorry..

    your friend forever,
    mike
    hope to talk to you agian 2night! ^_^ k sweety?!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 25, 2008
  6. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    thank you forlorm for you kindness..
     
  7. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    i know its not the end of the world, but it feels like it sometimes..-_- thank you dave
     
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    You're welcome mike. :)
     
  9. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    could you please just call me angel? lol i kind of like that name..lol
     
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Sure Angel. I like the name Angel too. :)
     
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    no one deserves death huney, u deserve to live and be happy, please hang in there :hug:
     
  12. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    thank you lynn, but i really do deserve it sometimes..im so stupid..i just do dumb things, i have nearly no sense of direction,i have no good qualities, and sometimes feel im loved by no one..lol my depression has its ups and downs though..like the day the gun was to my head it was horrible...
     
  13. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Try to keep your gun safely locked away Angel. :hug:
     
  14. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    Please becareful, Angel. I know you're going through alot, but I really think things would change if you could just get out of that house.
     
  15. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    You're a really caring person, and you definatly don't deserve death.
     
  16. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    thank you kitai, thank you so much..i know youre going through a lot too, but i feel so useless most of the time. like i cant help anyone. i couldnt help agnes, and it doesnt look like im going to be able to help you either..i cant help anyone. and it sickens me to be honest. id like to help someone i care about, but i just dont see that happening. -_- thats why i set the date already. im tired of not being able to help the poeple i care about. im not sure if im going to go through with it yet or not, but god it would feel good. its not lot im of any use anyway..-_-
     
  17. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    sorry dave, cant do that...lol i may need it later..
     
  18. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm thinking about getting a gun too, so that if a burglar broke into my home...
     
  19. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    lol....no no dave, i mean if i go through with my plans on feb 14
     
  20. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    Hey, you just made a mistake, its no big deal. It's only money, it can be replaced

    The bottom line is that your parents DO love you and I can PROMISE you that. They cared enough about you to give you the 9000 dollars, and once a parent loves you, there's no way they can ever stop, no matter what you do to them.

    You don't deserve to be hated, nor do you deserve grief from anybody for your mistakes because thats just what they were, MISTAKES. We all make them, including the people tormenting you. You're obviously sorry for all the mistakes you've made in your life, and I believe that anyone who is sorry deserves to be forgiven, no matter what they did. If people are tormenting you then forget them, you don't need them

    Please hang in there, I promise that no matter what you did to your parents in the past, they will miss you dearly. They may never stop crying and it may eventually even lead to there death

    No matter what you've done to your parents in the past, the worst thing you could ever do to them is commit suicide
     
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